In The Rubber Chicken’s Burning Question series, we have successfully solved some of life’s greatest mysteries by asking every celebrity or inappropriate party we could find.  What is The Grimace? What do the birds and the bees do? How do you get to Sesame Street? Why does the sun shine? (The answers, in order: 1. Cloned Mutant Beetroot / 2. They Make Toast / 3.  A Global Network of Mario-Style Warp Pipes / 4. It’s Complicated.)

Isn’t it about time we applied this research technique to the Greater Good?  What if, instead of drawing upon pop-culture or lightweight philosophy, we turned to cold, hard science?

In my daily search for risqué Last Starfighter fan fiction, I accidentally stumbled upon an astronomy blog and learned a startling fact:
90% of the universe’s mass remains unaccounted for.

Today, we pitch the following question to our guests:
Where is the universe’s missing mass?

Well, Television’s Michelle Rodriguez?
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“Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame street?”

……………………-”Sesame Street” theme song. Written by Joe Raposo, Jon Stone & Bruce Hart

Ever since Sesame Street debuted in 1969, this question has haunted us relentlessly. This says a lot for our obsession, because we weren’t born until the 80s. For you see, while the universally beloved children’s show cheerfully asks the question, it never actually divulges the answer.

How do you get Sesame Street?

Today we’re going to find out the only way we know how: by asking every awesome celebrity who will care to listen. Meanwhile, Aussie Ben will try to combine them into a single coherent answer. A recipe for madness, or a salmon cake of bitter disappointment? You be the judge.

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