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Okay,  so the last couple of attempts at reviving the website never quite worked out.  No hard feelings.  We had a great run.  But in the past few years, I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that It Can Still Work, Damnit.

One aspect that never, ever slowed down was my passion for audio production.  Since we started The Rubber Chicken Podcast, it’s become my single biggest hobby.  No other creative pursuit is so consistently rewarding; no other process comes so close to outright meditation.  I live, simply put, for the waveform.

And so, even when this website’s activity slowed to a crawl, I’ve been keeping actively busy with other podcasts, radio hosting, audio dramas, music, a few million new show ideas, and yes, perpetual rescripting of that perpetually in-perpetuation season two podcast finale.

These projects needed a home.  The Rubber Chicken needed a way to be interesting and relevant to me again.  Enter Rubber Chicken Audio: a production banner covering all of the above and more.

The website you are currently reading is, in my mind, the definitive archive of an incredibly creative and energetic decade.  To carry that over to a new page would be a disservice to the material and its authors.  The best (and indeed, only) answer was a clean break.

The Rubber Chicken Podcast will continue with its characters and muddled continuity intact.  Many of your favourite contributors will make an appearance.  We’ll also keep you posted on some of the brilliant new projects the old crowd are working on – Ben’s video games, Andrey’s plays, Tim’s dancercise workout videos.  Hell, we may even dabble in silly animations and minor celebrity hassling, if it feels right.  It is, in every sense, a continuation of the original website’s spirit.  But it’s not The Rubber Chicken – not quite – and we can embrace the new without a sugary sweet tip of the hat to the old.

A toast, ladies and gentlemen.

  • To The Rubber Chicken, a.k.a. TheRubberChickeN64, a.k.a. n-chicken.net, a.k.a. ThatChickenSite.com: the best creative outlet an awkward teenager could have hoped for.
  • To Tim, Ben, Brett, Andrey, Fiona, Chris, Gord, James, Mike, Paul, Chad, Hyle, Tom, Alyssa, Andrew, Stafford, HMB, Andy, Scott, Steve, Adam, Karl, Oscar, Mittens, Andrew, Gordon, Jens, Terry, Chris, Alex, Matt, Rik, Amanda and anyone else who kept this ol’ hovercraft a-hoverin’ with their words and wit.
  • And to you, loyal Achickenados (we never did think up a better name) for your considering any of this worth your time.  It’s been an honour.

Oh!  One last thing!

In 2002 I started dating a lovely French girl named Anne-Gaelle.  Even back then, I naively thought she’d be The One, and purely by coincidence, I happened to be right.  We got married last September.  Rubber Chicken contributors Ben and Chris were groomsmen. Tim was the best man.  Mister Bung made the flight over too.  I’m surrounded by amazing friends, and I simply wouldn’t know them so well – or, in many cases, at all – if it weren’t for The Rubber Chicken.  That’s really quite something.

I actually, literally told myself back in 2002 that if this happened, I’d post the following animation.  I’m a sucker for closure, especially when it comes to decade-old ideas, so here we go.  My wife (and I’m going to say that again, because this is all still new to me: WIFE) is a little wary when it comes to internet privacy, so I’ve tastefully recast her with Amelie‘s Audrey Tautou.

Thank you.  All of you.  Sincerely, and many times over.  I’ll see you on the other side.

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The Rubber Chicken – Taxidermists from a Parallel Universe

Lead vocals by Chris Shadforth.
Lyrics and music by Alastair Craig.
Additional shouty bits by Tim Morrison.

As heard in Mr. Podcast’s Neighbourhood
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As ancient terrors from the deep infiltrate sleepy suburbia, Stephen Hawking and Satan debate Bewitched casting.  Hardcore Holmes makes the ultimate edgy sacrifice, the inventor of the Time Phone wages an awkward war against himself, and legendary impaler Vlad Tepes takes on his biggest enemy yet: Zoning Bylaws.

Meanwhile, in the writers’ room, the creators of a sketch-comedy podcast embark on a sprawling metafictional odyssey equal parts hilarious, confusing and TERRIFYINGLY APOCALYPTIC.

Big Explosions!  Brain-Sucking Monsters!  Car Chases!  Wailing Guitars!  Taxidermy!  Awkward, Potentially Homoerotic Domestic Situations!  A Ham Sandwich!  All this and oh-so-much more in this massive, charmingly convoluted labour of love, two comically on-and-off years in the making.

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Written by
Tim Morrison, Andrey Summers and Alastair Craig

Original Music
Taxidermists from a Parallel Universe written and produced by Alastair Craig.
Lead vocals by Christopher Shadforth

Episode produced by Alastair Craig





They spell "Programme" the long way, so you know it's all class.In recent weeks, I’ve had the absolute pleasure of playing a supporting role in The Vine: Donkey Kong Audio Programme.   I must insist you have the absolute pleasure of listening to it.

Not into video games?  That’s okay, neither are the hosts.  Think of it as the legitimate front for crude but classy conversational comedy.  It’s a mammoth production, a huge labour of love, and brimming with the warmly familiar, silky-smooth voices of Rubber Chicken alumni.

Be warned: Emmy-winnng hosts Chad and Hyle are not the most tactful gentlemen, and tend to use masturbation jokes as punctuation.  You’ll hate yourself for laughing, but oh, you will laugh.

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I’m told the website you’re currently reading has an audio programme too.  It’s not ringing any bells, but I’ll look into it.



Way back in prehistoric 2005, five of us gathered in Brisbane and had a great deal of fun filming a surreal mockumentary sketch show.  Hours of footage were flown back to Western Australia, compiled into the Greatest Trailer That Ever Trailed, then stashed in the director’s bottom drawer, where they presumably remain to this day.

Lo!  With the recent chance discovery of a long lost test reel and some painstaking restoration work in Windows Movie Maker, this magnum opus can finally take its rightful place as the literal Citizen Kane of movies.



Don’t Stop Believing!

Posted on August 14th, 2010 by Alastair Craig

When I recently left a lucrative supermarket job to pursue my Starving Writer phase, I couldn’t help feel survivor’s guilt.  I fled with my soul intact, but how could I lend moral support to those left behind?

Then there was the question of my legacy.  What would my loving contribution mean to Coles Supermarkets Australia Pty Ltd ten years from now?  I had to leave behind a message for the ages.

Also, the staff room really needed some coffee mugs.

THE BELIEVING!  IT JUST WON'T STOP!

Communal diseases are a small price to pay for the POWER of BELIEF.

There they remain to this day; silent sentinels to the stars.

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I DO NOT GET IT.The comedy of errors that is Finishing Season Two approaches its climax.  Here’s what you can look forward to when we get back from our various honeymoons and tropical vacations.  We are PUMPED.  Are YOU?

Compiled by Alastair Craig

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We at The Rubber Chicken have long considered the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon a few edits and a laugh track away from being the perfect sitcom.  Even the voice actors openly recognise villains Krang and Shredder as the classic bickering married couple.  Now if only somebody would get rid of those pesky turtles, we could finally enjoy TMNT as the romantic adventure-comedy it was clearly destined to be.

We have the technology.

If you enjoyed this video, be sure to check out some of our previous TMNT posts, including an illustrated tribute to Krang, the Turtles’ victory over Global Warming, or a warts-and-all look at their scandallous private lives.

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Has Anyone Seen My Tamborine?

Posted on October 31st, 2009 by Alastair Craig

This accidentally reversed portion of Podcast 207: Mister Podcast’s Neighborhood* chills me to the bone.  On this hallowed eve, I entrust it to you.  God bless.

Bonus MP3: Tim Curry – Anything Can Happen on Halloween
(from The Worst Witch)

*”Soon”.