The Chicken Feed

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Proton pack is strapped.
Busting makes me feel good like
’80s Sig Weaver.



Internet, let’s make YouTube’s vile comments section a better place.  Follow a video of your choosing with a bizarre comment – not negative, nor offensive, but simply designed to make a stranger’s day that little bit more surreal – and share your contribution with us.  For example:

Review etiquette states one shouldn’t judge outtakes as harshly as proper cinematic output. To that notion I say “balderdash”, for as this short piece of improvisational theatre proves, unscripted material can represent the purest of unfiltered artistic visions in the right hands.  And the hands of YouTube user “LalaaLou” prove very right indeed.

Following the groundbreaking double-punch of crowd pleaser Birthdayy and the introspective Tom and Katy 2, one could be forgiven for expecting this young up-and-coming auteur to scout for further untapped potential in the documentary sphere. But LalaaLou, long perceived in the YouTube community as a daring visual pioneer, is as always keen to corageously explore and map entirely new artistic landscapes.

Under this Spielbergesque directional gusto, the ensemble cast acts flawlessly as a single entity; so perfect a muse that the original vision and performance are inseparable.  One must gaze beneath the surface; beyond petty technical issues of timing and choreography, to find the poetry in this very discordance; beauty in the eye of the storm; the calm, if you will, in the chaos.  Only then does one discover the rich emotional subtext: it is not about the end product, but the journey.

Future generations might very well admire – nay, worship – this 0.38 minute manifesto as the definitive template, if not the outright final word, on Chad Kroeger commentary. I laughed. I cried. YouTube video designate elv4kGQv8EI works on every possible level, and then some more. The best independent film ever made?  Quite probably.

Comment on a YouTube video and report back to us below in our own, less vile comments section.
More reviews will be added intermittently.

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In The Rubber Chicken’s Burning Question series, we have successfully solved some of life’s greatest mysteries by asking every celebrity or inappropriate party we could find.  What is The Grimace? What do the birds and the bees do? How do you get to Sesame Street? Why does the sun shine? (The answers, in order: 1. Cloned Mutant Beetroot / 2. They Make Toast / 3.  A Global Network of Mario-Style Warp Pipes / 4. It’s Complicated.)

Isn’t it about time we applied this research technique to the Greater Good?  What if, instead of drawing upon pop-culture or lightweight philosophy, we turned to cold, hard science?

In my daily search for risqué Last Starfighter fan fiction, I accidentally stumbled upon an astronomy blog and learned a startling fact:
90% of the universe’s mass remains unaccounted for.

Today, we pitch the following question to our guests:
Where is the universe’s missing mass?

Well, Television’s Michelle Rodriguez?
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Shoot ‘Em Up – Film Review

Posted on June 18th, 2009 by Alastair Craig

In the motion picture film “Shoot ‘Em Up”, Clive Owen:

  • Kills not one, but two men with a carrot.
  • Has an intimate encounter with Monica Bellucci while shooting bad guys, delivers a satisfactory performance on both fronts, then turns off the light by shooting the switch.
  • Literally fires bullets with his bare hands.
  • Delivers a baby in the middle of a gunfight and severs the umbilical cord by shooting it.

In conclusion, you should probably see the motion picture film “Shoot ‘Em Up”.



Australians everywhere (provided they live in Melbourne, Sydney or Brisbane and use public transport) know mX – a delightful, informative and totally free daily newspaper available at train stations. Subjects span US celebrity gossip, new product lines, US celebrity trivia, sports, photographs of people in their underwear, US celebrities launching new product lines, photographs of US celebrities in their underwear, and sudoku.

Particularly worth reading is the the letters section, “Vent Your Spleen”, where fellow commuters write in to send messages to strangers they met on the train or discuss the news, politics, trains, celebrities and celebrities on trains.

Ever wanted to see what that letters section looked like, but too afraid to pick up the copy that shifty old man left on his seat with a copy of Big & Bouncy wrapped inside? Wonder no longer!

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Undead Studies 307 (Lectures 1-3)

Posted on April 15th, 2008 by Michael Cope

Andrey: Another page turns in the great, dusty book of history on whose every page the genesis of saidchickenspace.co.uk is scrawled in blotchy, barely-legible chicken-scratch. And as surely as the next two paragraphs are going to be about me trying to subtly underline and milk the relatively mild pun I just made (CHICKEN scratch, am I right?), so do the machinations of the time-barons also decree that this new ninth year of written articles on TRC will kick off with a Completely New Face.

It is my utmost pleasure at this juncture to conclude my update text by introducing you to the lovely, dynamic, and ridiculously well-dressed Michael Cope, who has broken bread at our table before podcast-wise, and now makes the grim transition to written articles with a meticulous, cerebral 40-pager about Leni Riefenstahl’s controversial editorial technique.

By which I mean zombies. And when I said it was my pleasure before, I meant it was my pleasure to conclude the update text, not introduce Mike. Frankly, the man is a hack.

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Alastair: If there’s one thing the superficial persona I invented for the sake of this introduction can’t stand, it’s ambiguous lyrics. When I’m getting down to the doof doof doof doof music us young people totally dig, I want the song’s meaning to be unmistakably obvious.

Piece of Me by Britney Spears, on the other hand, is a piece riddled with riddles. With odd self-depreciating lines like “Oh my god, that Britney’s shameless” and seemingly unrelated references to the paparazzi, it’s impossible to tell where she’s going without some sort of in-depth, line-by-line analysis. And so with the moral support (of the writing-several-passages-outright variety) of Chad McCanna and Andrey Summers, I put together exactly that.

Sensitive readers are advised that the following article contains graphic images of the spiky-haired guy from Good Charlotte.

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Andrey: Here at whatchickenlist.gov, we are all about the environment. By this I am, of course, suggesting only that at any given moment we are in or near the environment, but I like to think that makes us an authority on the matter. Certainly as much of an authority as an arguably un-elected Presidential Candidate who at one time had no beard, then grew a beard, and then just shaved it off again.

If Al Gore can’t even decide what his own face looks like, how can he reliably perform plastic surgery on the face of our planet? This question is implicitly asked and tacitly answered by our own Alastair Robert Craig in a feature that he did not title The Unofficial Spice Girls Reunion Scrapbook. To find out what he really titled it, you’ll just have to Admit You’re A Spice Girls Fan. Just kidding. You can also Click Here.

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That Web Store That Ripped Us Off When We Tried To Buy Brett A Microphone (TWSTRUOWWTTBBAM) is a Western Australia-based store specialising in electronics and computer gear, from whom The Rubber Chicken attempted to purchase a Logitech USB Desktop Microphone, and who took the money and absconded with it for a month before returning it on request.

Read more on The Rubber Chicken Wiki »