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Okay,  so the last couple of attempts at reviving the website never quite worked out.  No hard feelings.  We had a great run.  But in the past few years, I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that It Can Still Work, Damnit.

One aspect that never, ever slowed down was my passion for audio production.  Since we started The Rubber Chicken Podcast, it’s become my single biggest hobby.  No other creative pursuit is so consistently rewarding; no other process comes so close to outright meditation.  I live, simply put, for the waveform.

And so, even when this website’s activity slowed to a crawl, I’ve been keeping actively busy with other podcasts, radio hosting, audio dramas, music, a few million new show ideas, and yes, perpetual rescripting of that perpetually in-perpetuation season two podcast finale.

These projects needed a home.  The Rubber Chicken needed a way to be interesting and relevant to me again.  Enter Rubber Chicken Audio: a production banner covering all of the above and more.

The website you are currently reading is, in my mind, the definitive archive of an incredibly creative and energetic decade.  To carry that over to a new page would be a disservice to the material and its authors.  The best (and indeed, only) answer was a clean break.

The Rubber Chicken Podcast will continue with its characters and muddled continuity intact.  Many of your favourite contributors will make an appearance.  We’ll also keep you posted on some of the brilliant new projects the old crowd are working on – Ben’s video games, Andrey’s plays, Tim’s dancercise workout videos.  Hell, we may even dabble in silly animations and minor celebrity hassling, if it feels right.  It is, in every sense, a continuation of the original website’s spirit.  But it’s not The Rubber Chicken – not quite – and we can embrace the new without a sugary sweet tip of the hat to the old.

A toast, ladies and gentlemen.

  • To The Rubber Chicken, a.k.a. TheRubberChickeN64, a.k.a. n-chicken.net, a.k.a. ThatChickenSite.com: the best creative outlet an awkward teenager could have hoped for.
  • To Tim, Ben, Brett, Andrey, Fiona, Chris, Gord, James, Mike, Paul, Chad, Hyle, Tom, Alyssa, Andrew, Stafford, HMB, Andy, Scott, Steve, Adam, Karl, Oscar, Mittens, Andrew, Gordon, Jens, Terry, Chris, Alex, Matt, Rik, Amanda and anyone else who kept this ol’ hovercraft a-hoverin’ with their words and wit.
  • And to you, loyal Achickenados (we never did think up a better name) for your considering any of this worth your time.  It’s been an honour.

Oh!  One last thing!

In 2002 I started dating a lovely French girl named Anne-Gaelle.  Even back then, I naively thought she’d be The One, and purely by coincidence, I happened to be right.  We got married last September.  Rubber Chicken contributors Ben and Chris were groomsmen. Tim was the best man.  Mister Bung made the flight over too.  I’m surrounded by amazing friends, and I simply wouldn’t know them so well – or, in many cases, at all – if it weren’t for The Rubber Chicken.  That’s really quite something.

I actually, literally told myself back in 2002 that if this happened, I’d post the following animation.  I’m a sucker for closure, especially when it comes to decade-old ideas, so here we go.  My wife (and I’m going to say that again, because this is all still new to me: WIFE) is a little wary when it comes to internet privacy, so I’ve tastefully recast her with Amelie‘s Audrey Tautou.

Thank you.  All of you.  Sincerely, and many times over.  I’ll see you on the other side.

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In light of recent news, let us set aside our silly podcasts and Ninja Turtle appraisal and take a moment to celebrate the human spirit.  Let’s not delude ourselves with nihilistic doomsday predictions, humanity: we are pretty darn-tootin’ great.

And for only $10.99, this greatness can be yours to cherish forever! From the Earth to the Moon, Tom Hanks’ brilliant 12-part love letter to the Apollo missions, is now sickeningly cheap on Amazon.com. If you’ve ever found yourself staring wistfully at the full moon, marvelling, as the honking drivers behind you shout “GREEN LIGHT, MORON”, that our little species could get so far, you owe it to yourself to watch this uplifting, heartbreaking and occasionally hilarious series.  My friends assure me it is officially on the list of Pop-Culture Moments In Which A Grown Man Is Permitted To Cry, right between The Time Traveller’s Wife and the ending of Terminator 2.

We now return to our regularly scheduled discussion topic: donatello from tmnt or the professor from honey i shrunk the kids who is the better mechanic??? Please leave your replies below.

Neil, Buzz, Michael, if any of you choose to celebrate your accomplishment with a quiet night indoors reading an obscure Australian/Canadian comedy page: we salute you.



The Sploosh Manifesto

Posted on June 15th, 2009 by Alastair Craig
Here at ThatChickenSite.com: The Official Website of ThatChickenSite.com, we have plenty to be proud of.  A Really Very Excellent Podcast.  A few million fooled Star Wars fans.  Several wasted seconds of Noam Chomsky’s time.  Not to mention (but mentioning anyway) the satisfaction of bringing a little extra fun into people’s lives for nearly a decade.

Yet for all the hard work, The Rubber Chicken’s single finest moment lies burried deep in our painstakingly-restored archives, in a short but profound June 22, 2003 post by Brett “Mister Bung” Cullen.

“Ladies and gentlemen”, he wrote:

I think, by this point, you’re seeing my argument.

And so we return an older, wiser, but rejuvenated Chicken Site.com, more open to frequent shorter posts, new writers, community interaction and not spending four hours trudging through HTML in Windows Notepad just to post a freaking update.
Willing, in short, to admit the rest of the Internet might be on to something with the heathen hanky-panky of “blogging”.
Take heed, presently-absent readership.  No hurdle, practical or ethical, will stop us from winning you back.

Splooshindeed, my friends.Splooshindeed.

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Goodbye Marco

Posted on September 12th, 2008 by Andrey Summers

I don’t know if you’re aware of what the word ‘pedantry’ is, but basically it’s when you force your own high-minded knowledge and life-regulations on other people, such as condescendingly rubbing people’s faces in the meaning of the word ‘pedantry’.

To further illustrate the concept for you before tearing those little training wheels right off, I could perhaps explain that George F. Walker wrote a play once called “Zastrozzi: the Master of Discipline”. I could also elucidate you regarding the play’s staging last summer at Granville Island’s prestigious Waterfront Theatre.

Local Celebrity level Vancouver Actors were in this thing, and the most Locally Celebrated one of them all was named Marco Soriano. He played Zastrozzi – the coveted title role.

I wasn’t in this play. But I did get in there with familiar TRC faces James Simpson and Mike Cope to KILL OFF Marco Soriano, and document the grizzly aftermath.

What you have in front of you is the resultant YouTube’d film – almost 40 minutes in length and almost 4 of those actually amusing.

“Enjoy”.

(Parts 2-4 after the jump)

Continue Reading »



Alastair: As we bask in the jocular afterglow of Inappropriate Website Replacement Day, Amateur Bowling Club USA’s war against the devious Enfield Bowling Enthusiasts rages on. Facebook users (or “Facesimiles”, as they prefer to be known) can help forge the continuing saga of New Hampshire’s second largest militant religious bowling cult by signing up today.

Thanks to James Simpson, Michael Cope and Andrey Summers for graciously letting us brand the Rubber Chicken label upon on their prior hard work.

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TRC Merchandise: The College Years

Posted on February 15th, 2008 by Alastair Craig

Like a killer wasp in an out-of-place simile, The Rubber Chicken Store is active once more.

First amongst the new batch is the Land of Canoes Torso Concealer. Such is the overpowering chirpiness of this colourful, yet tastefully understated t-shirt that drawing it physically gave cartoonist extraordinaire Andy “Klobber” Webb a headache. Don’t let his sacrifice go unrewarded – order today!

Update: By popular demand (hi Mum), the shirt is now also available in a naughty-word-free version, for those who prefer their t-shirts obscenely colourful but not colourfully obscene. Conservative but flamboyant gay men now have no reason not to own one. Jawsome!

Next on the rolecall is the timeless Quack Cap, now with a freshly revised URL and 50% more timelessness. You’ve learned why the sun shines, now shield yourself from the answer!

And, er, if it’s all the same with you, I’d rather not talk about the third item. Some scars take longer to heal than others.



Support ThatChickenSite.com on MySpace and Facebook!

Go on.  It’s what all the cool kids are totally rapping about.

In the house, word, yo.



Here we are in Paris, France, enjoying ourselves at the expense of what we at ThatChickenSite.com naively consider your entertainment.  (This chicken, purchased in Barcelona, Spain, represents everyone else’s motivation, which always leaves when I do.  It’s an awkward metaphor, yes.  Let’s not dwell.)

Upon returning, it’s time for a long-overdue all-star action makeover. TRC has transformed considerably under this design’s iron dictatorship, virtually into an entirely new site twice over. The time has come, the walrus said, to catch the fuck up already.

That means stripping the operation down to its pasty white foundations: silly movies, the nitpicking of obscure early 90s cartoons, and anything else that maintains the sense of fun that has made this site such a joy to work on (when we could be bothered), over the last seven years. Anything not serving the Prime Directive will be unceremoniously swept under the couch or tweaked with enough reckless historical revisionism to give George Lucas violent convulsions.

The podcast shall bounce back for a second, more sketch show-y season. Shed no tears; we’ll try to space episodes more evenly between other material. The last few months of podcast-podcast-podcast was a necessary evil – a refreshing break from spelling and punctuation, and hopefully one you enjoyed. But it was just a phase. Like puberty, but with canoes in place of erections.

And did I mention regular updates?
Ha ha ha, no, I most certainly did not.



CONGRATULATIONS!

Posted on November 25th, 2005 by Ben K

CONGRATULATIONS TO KARLA GURNEY, THE FIRST PERSON TO PURCHASE AN EROTIC CHAD PILLOW FROM The Rubber Chicken Store!

The Rubber Chicken (www.n-chicken.net) respects the privacy of its readers in compliance with the Federation Trade Act (CMWTH 1935). Please contact our legal department for more information. The client in question has contacted us and would like to add that she is not a bald man with stubble.



A Formal Apology on behalf of Aussie Ben to Uri Geller and the cast of “Bikini Party Summer”:
The internet needed more Irma.