The Chicken Feed

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A Formal Apology on behalf of Aussie Ben to Uri Geller and the cast of “Bikini Party Summer”:
The internet needed more Irma.

Firstly, it’s high time I acknowledged our Star Wars fan readership:

If any Rubber Chicken readers…
Actually, if I may digress for a moment (ignoring that this update is essentially one embarassingly large digression – but I digress) we really need a proper name for Rubber Chicken fans. “Achickenados” has a certain awkward charm. If you have any better suggestions, please get in touch.
Now if I’d kindly stop interrupting…

If any of you tentatively-titled achickenados live in Brisbane, Australia, you can find me queuing up for Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith at the Queen Street Mall Regent Cinemas from late tomorrow afternoon until midnight. I’ll be the bloodied corpse in the gutter, bludgeoned to death by plastic lightsabres, wearing the traditional home-made “Jar Jar Binks Sombrero” costume.

It’s been lovely knowing you all.

Well amputate my armadillo and send me back to ‘Nam, Prudence – it’s that time of month again! With precious hours remaining of Do Something Controversial Day in non-Australian (and, I would argue, lesser) time zones, we once again take the freefall plunge towards that certain, splattery doom we like to call “indecency”.

Avert your eyes, elderly women. Grasp that flask of holy water for dear life, Catholic priests. For our younger readers, we cannot take responsibility for the lifelong emotional damage that can and will follow. Proceed with caution – or suicidal recklessness, whichever suits you – to our first Daily Petition.

(Those of you not familiar with Nikki Webster’s work can find more information here, and the offending photo shoot, which is mercifully unrevealing and disturbing only on principle, here. Although we strongly advise you don’t.)

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It’s okay. You can unshield your eyes now. “Cadbury Creme Fantasies” was an incredibly subtle and elaborate joke.

We originally hoped to have it up on April Fools Day. Obviously, it wasn’t. Or perhaps it was, and the results were so horrifying our minds suppressed the very memory of the chocolate-coated trauma. Time (plus years of therapy and countless nights of waking up at 3am in a cold sweat) will tell.

Special thanks to TRC newcomer “Chris” for the idea and spectacular anti-erotic modelling work, and to “Rachelle” for also sacrificing her dignity (if quite enthusiastically) for shallow internet fame.

It’s back to business as usual, then! Watch this space:.


Well? Are you watching it?

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Halo? More Like Cello!

Posted on November 10th, 2004 by Ben K

As you may have guessed, things have been running a bit slow lately, and we’re also slack. But mainly busy. Really. I’m not apologizing for this, because that’s what we would have done in 2002 (seriously, take a look at the updates – it’s delightfully naive). Instead, to help the excellent Scott with his workload (in addition to being totally kickarse, doing the art, and PHP, he ALSO does MYSTERY OTHER THINGS, like steal lamp posts), I have taken it upon myself to hire two new staff members.

They are two kittens, and I figure, hey why not, everyone loves a kitten. Also, they arrived in a basket. FROM OUTER SPACE! And went past The Tardis! I’ve been assured that these kittens can do anything. And God damn are they cute. So, the kitten on the left (Oscar) will be assistant artist, while the kitten on the right (Mittens) will be helping out with the PHP.

Please be sure to be friendly to them as they are a bit shy, but I’ve assured them that you’re all cool. So you’d better not disappoint me in front of the kittens.

No, seriously, I just couldn’t take that.

Dear Readers

Posted on November 4th, 2004 by Alastair Craig

I have worked on The Rubber Chicken for almost five years now, and it has been a wonderful experience. There is also a saying: all good things must come to an end.

Just thought you’d like to know.

Yours Sincerely,

Alastair “HappyBob” Craig
Directing Editorial Webmaster-In-Chief
The Rubber Chicken

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Today is the sixteenth day of the month – Do Something Controversial Day – a day in ‘Chicken town usually reserved for childish and spiteful pranks. But this time, we’ll make an exception.

As many of you know, several key members of The Rubber Chicken have past affiliations with the fan community of videogame developers Rare. Somewhere along the way, our former websites fell into rivalry with the kids at But today, my friends… today we concede defeat.

Rare-Extreme recently obtained the impossible: a guided tour of Rare HQ itself, and posted a fascinating, well-written talisman of fine journalism on this incredible once-in-a-lifetime experience. To show there are no longer any hard feelings between us, and to make up for any past bitterness, we offer the following reconciliatory plug their fine website. Check it out now, y’all.

Rare-Extreme’s EXCLUSIVE Tour of Rare HQ


Posted on December 12th, 2003 by Ben K

I don’t like parsnips.
True story.

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Dun’ be ridick-oo-lous.

Posted on September 10th, 2003 by Chad McCanna

Well, I’m a college-type person now, living the college life. So you know what that means… DORM ROOM PRANKS!!! Ahem. This first one came to me as I walked down the hall to lunch one day and saw that a girl had posted a desparate lovenote on one of my neighbor’s doors. I had to join the fun, you know.

And because I love you all so much, it’s a paramecium in a necktie!

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Ladies and Gentlemen:

Posted on June 22nd, 2003 by Mister Bung


Thank you and goodnight.