One aspect that never, ever slowed down was my passion for audio production.  Since we started The Rubber Chicken Podcast, it’s become my single biggest hobby.  No other creative pursuit is so consistently rewarding; no other process comes so close to outright meditation.  I live, simply put, for the waveform.

And so, even when this website’s activity slowed to a crawl, I’ve been keeping actively busy with other podcasts, radio hosting, audio dramas, music, a few million new show ideas, and yes, perpetual rescripting of that perpetually in-perpetuation season two podcast finale.

These projects needed a home.  The Rubber Chicken needed a way to be interesting and relevant to me again.  Enter Rubber Chicken Audio: a production banner covering all of the above and more.

The website you are currently reading is, in my mind, the definitive archive of an incredibly creative and energetic decade.  To carry that over to a new page would be a disservice to the material and its authors.  The best (and indeed, only) answer was a clean break.

The Rubber Chicken Podcast will continue with its characters and muddled continuity intact.  Many of your favourite contributors will make an appearance.  We’ll also keep you posted on some of the brilliant new projects the old crowd are working on – Ben’s video games, Andrey’s plays, Tim’s dancercise workout videos.  Hell, we may even dabble in silly animations and minor celebrity hassling, if it feels right.  It is, in every sense, a continuation of the original website’s spirit.  But it’s not The Rubber Chicken – not quite – and we can embrace the new without a sugary sweet tip of the hat to the old.

A toast, ladies and gentlemen.

• To The Rubber Chicken, a.k.a. TheRubberChickeN64, a.k.a. n-chicken.net, a.k.a. ThatChickenSite.com: the best creative outlet an awkward teenager could have hoped for.
• To Tim, Ben, Brett, Andrey, Fiona, Chris, Gord, James, Mike, Paul, Chad, Hyle, Tom, Alyssa, Andrew, Stafford, HMB, Andy, Scott, Steve, Adam, Karl, Oscar, Mittens, Andrew, Gordon, Jens, Terry, Chris, Alex, Matt, Rik, Amanda and anyone else who kept this ol’ hovercraft a-hoverin’ with their words and wit.
• And to you, loyal Achickenados (we never did think up a better name) for your considering any of this worth your time.  It’s been an honour.

Oh!  One last thing!

In 2002 I started dating a lovely French girl named Anne-Gaelle.  Even back then, I naively thought she’d be The One, and purely by coincidence, I happened to be right.  We got married last September.  Rubber Chicken contributors Ben and Chris were groomsmen. Tim was the best man.  Mister Bung made the flight over too.  I’m surrounded by amazing friends, and I simply wouldn’t know them so well – or, in many cases, at all – if it weren’t for The Rubber Chicken.  That’s really quite something.

I actually, literally told myself back in 2002 that if this happened, I’d post the following animation.  I’m a sucker for closure, especially when it comes to decade-old ideas, so here we go.  My wife (and I’m going to say that again, because this is all still new to me: WIFE) is a little wary when it comes to internet privacy, so I’ve tastefully recast her with Amelie‘s Audrey Tautou.

Thank you.  All of you.  Sincerely, and many times over.  I’ll see you on the other side.

Lead vocals by Chris Shadforth.
Lyrics and music by Alastair Craig.
Additional shouty bits by Tim Morrison.

As heard in Mr. Podcast’s Neighbourhood
Hear more songs from The Rubber Chicken Podcast

Lyrics

We are taxidermists
From a parallel universe
All of our creations
Have beards and eyepatches

We stuff dead animals
In a tangential strand of time
Mounting them for display
Under a purple sky

When a stray Spanish bullet killed the great great great great great
Grandmother of Winston Churchill’s mother’s nursemaid
Human history was diverted down a path
More accommodating of our strange specialist trade

Now we harness the power of Tesla Coils
And tools derived from our steam-based technology
To extract the innards of animal corpses
And preseve the beauty of their natural biology

Behold! The five toed velociraptor!
More sprightly and agile than your common-variety velociraptor!
To your left, a collector’s item: Fluffy, the favourite White House poodle in Robert Kennedy’s third term.
Behind you – BEHIND YOU – the pirhana-moose.
The famous European genetic experiment commissioned by the Cyborg Emperor Napoleon.
And down that unlit corridor?
Oh, there lie the relics of the Lizard War.

We don’t talk about that.

Join us brothers, let us rise as one
And spread the good word to our ignorant breathren
And create a better world as we stuff their skin
And preserve their smiles in a perfect lifeless grin

THE LIZARDS!  THE LIZARDS!  THE HORRIBLE LIZARDS!

More Music:

Subscribe to The Rubber Chicken Podcast

Meanwhile, in the writers’ room, the creators of a sketch-comedy podcast embark on a sprawling metafictional odyssey equal parts hilarious, confusing and TERRIFYINGLY APOCALYPTIC.

Big Explosions!  Brain-Sucking Monsters!  Car Chases!  Wailing Guitars!  Taxidermy!  Awkward, Potentially Homoerotic Domestic Situations!  A Ham Sandwich!  All this and oh-so-much more in this massive, charmingly convoluted labour of love, two comically on-and-off years in the making.

Download Episode
Subscribe on iTunes
RSS Feed

Written by
Tim Morrison, Andrey Summers and Alastair Craig

Original Music
Taxidermists from a Parallel Universe written and produced by Alastair Craig.
Lead vocals by Christopher Shadforth

Episode produced by Alastair Craig

Not into video games?  That’s okay, neither are the hosts.  Think of it as the legitimate front for crude but classy conversational comedy.  It’s a mammoth production, a huge labour of love, and brimming with the warmly familiar, silky-smooth voices of Rubber Chicken alumni.

Be warned: Emmy-winnng hosts Chad and Hyle are not the most tactful gentlemen, and tend to use masturbation jokes as punctuation.  You’ll hate yourself for laughing, but oh, you will laugh.

Subscribe on iTunes

RSS Feed

I’m told the website you’re currently reading has an audio programme too.  It’s not ringing any bells, but I’ll look into it.

Lo!  With the recent chance discovery of a long lost test reel and some painstaking restoration work in Windows Movie Maker, this magnum opus can finally take its rightful place as the literal Citizen Kane of movies.

Then there was the question of my legacy.  What would my loving contribution mean to Coles Supermarkets Australia Pty Ltd ten years from now?  I had to leave behind a message for the ages.

Also, the staff room really needed some coffee mugs.

There they remain to this day; silent sentinels to the stars.

Downloads

• Printable A4 Poster
• Terrifyingly High-Resolution Widescreen Desktop Wallpaper

Compiled by Alastair Craig

Directly Download MP3

Subscribe to TRC Podcast to stay up-to-date with new shows.
iTunes / Google Reader / myAOL / My Yahoo / Bloglines.

Support the series on Facebook

We have the technology.

If you enjoyed this video, be sure to check out some of our previous TMNT posts, including an illustrated tribute to Krang, the Turtles’ victory over Global Warming, or a warts-and-all look at their scandallous private lives.

Based on “Plan 6 From Outer Space” (Season 4, Episode 1)
Written by David Wise
Directed by Mike Stuart

Edited by
Tim Morrison

Concept and planning by
Ben K
Tim Morrison
Alastair Craig

“At Home in the Technodrome”
Performed by Fiona Revill
Written by Alastair Craig (with apologies to Fiona Revill)

I cry inside every time you mock me
When the turtles pull our plans apart
You might be a talking brain
But I’ll never stop searching for a heart.

Scheming in the Technodrome
We’re a family bound together
It’s not a house but it feels like home
When Everybody Loves Shredder.

New to ThatChickenSite.com?
Explore The Rubber Chicken’s Best Work from the past decade, sample our sketch comedy podcast, or – why the hell not – subscribe to our RSS Feed.

Bonus MP3: Tim Curry – Anything Can Happen on Halloween
(from The Worst Witch)

*”Soon”.