The Chicken Feed

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A small sample of the comic genius YOU are missing out on by living in a different country to Mr. Shaun Micallef.

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This is just ridiculous. Not only has comedian and television personality Shaun Micallef yet to reach total world domination, but he’s only reaching the miniscule audience of millions of Australian viewers! We’ll soon fix that. With the magic of this wonderful Inter-Web Net Thingy, I can let all sorts of people around the world know about Shaun’s many hilarious shenanigans. I claim no responsibilty for the jokes, though. They’re all Shaun’s. I’m just ‘spreading the word’, as it were.

Save Our Biscuits

iced_vovo

Exhibit A.  The Iced Vovo.  A delicious bicsuit by the Arnotts company, which features pink icing and shredded coconut (that’s the biscuit, not the company). Unfortunatly for the ‘Little Aussie Battler’, Arnotts was bought out a while ago by Campbells Soups, a decidedly un-Australian company. How are we supposed to buy Australian when our very Vovos are being snatched away from us? Well, never fear, because Dick Smith Foods has stepped in once again. They (possibly) single-handedly saved Australia by creating Australian versions of the delicious Tim Tams (cleverly titled ‘TempTims’), and now they’re going to help us in the Vovo department. How? Well, Micallef Tonight was able to discover some of Dick Smith Foods’ new products, including this baby:

miced_volvo

Potential Potter

With all this Harry hype coming up for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, It’s no wonder that Shaun had some incredibly exciting news for us. You may recall that for the American audience, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was renamed Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone because it was thought that Americans might not understand what a philosopher was (chuckle). Well, it’s happened again — the fifth book will be renamed for the American audience so that they can understand the title.  BEHOLD!

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But gasp! That’s not all the news that Shaun had to offer! It was reported that Ms. Rowling was having trouble writing Order of the Phoenix and that this book may be the last. Now, Micallef Tonight was fortunate enough to get some of the potential scripts that Ms. Rowling has been toying with.

(Looks at camera)
…this is true.

I don’t know, I just don’t think that she’s trying very hard with this title.

potter_magicalthing

Here’s another script, but…I don’t know, I don’t think that it’s a really good idea to change your main character around like this.

potter_contactlenses

Okay sure, It’s worked for others, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s always a winning formula.

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Those who’ve seen the latest Harry Potter movie will probably understand this book’s direction – but I’m still not sure if it’s the right choice.

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And this script is more of an abstract approach. But I don’t know, it doesn’t really work for me.

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And, in desperation to get more titles out, Bloomsbury is contracting other writers to take pen to the Potter Universe. Check out the following titles:

potter_stephenking

potter_dickfrancis

potter_sweetvalleyhigh

potter_haroldrobbins

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There. Now you can all say you’ve truly lived a little today.

More Micallefesque Japery
Micallef Tonight Cancelled – TRC Retaliates

The Rubber Chicken Podcast – “Clap: A Documentary”
The MX Letters Page – A Tribute
Why All Politicians Should Have Mullets
Harry Potter Hate Mail

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