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SpamArt: Postcards From The Internet

Posted on August 29th, 2009 by Paul Matijevic

FACT: In his daily tech support work for The Man, Tim encounters a huge volume of unintentionally hilarious spam subject headings.

FACT: The world has been a slightly less awesome place since Spamusement.com stopped posting its priceless visual interpretations of such spam titles, and will remain slightly less awesome until somebody picks up where it left off.

FACT: Paul “Ettin” Matijevic can sketch a mean stick figure.

CONCLUSION:



Proton pack is strapped.
Busting makes me feel good like
’80s Sig Weaver.



Great Scott! (Sorry, sorry.)

Posted on August 24th, 2009 by Scott McQuaig

And then a rather witty notion struck me. It's more like "Doctor POO", isn't it?Alastair: During his brief but bright tenure as Rubber Chicken cartoonist in 2003-4, Scott McQuaig gave us a memorable visual personality that lingers to this day.  (I could have used a fart metaphor there, but no, I’m better than that.)  Even now, many of his creations peer out from the left hand side of this website, each a glorious gaseous tendril of nostalgia.

Scott has recently thawed from creative hibernation – some call it “business school” – to deliver this hand-crafted rendition of “popular” podcast “personality” Sir Nigel Haversmith IV.  See it.  Smell it.  Savour it.  And if you would like to see more of our audio-only characters brought to life, please share your suggestions below.  Scott’s return to artistry is a self-admittedly tentative one, and with this public call-out, I hope to lure him back with guilt.

Oh, and registration is no longer required to post a comment, so a big “hello” to our new spambot readership!

Related Links
Ultimate FanFiction Central’s Fan Art Archive!!!

A Picture of a Nun



Andrey and Mike expound absolutely all their energy and talent, to bring you the most tightly-compacted shot of fantasy and myth-related puns IMAGINABLE. So potent, you won’t have time to laugh at a single one of them.

Written and performed by
Andrey Summers
Michael Cope

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Internet, let’s make YouTube’s vile comments section a better place.  Follow a video of your choosing with a bizarre comment – not negative, nor offensive, but simply designed to make a stranger’s day that little bit more surreal – and share your contribution with us.  For example:

Review etiquette states one shouldn’t judge outtakes as harshly as proper cinematic output. To that notion I say “balderdash”, for as this short piece of improvisational theatre proves, unscripted material can represent the purest of unfiltered artistic visions in the right hands.  And the hands of YouTube user “LalaaLou” prove very right indeed.

Following the groundbreaking double-punch of crowd pleaser Birthdayy and the introspective Tom and Katy 2, one could be forgiven for expecting this young up-and-coming auteur to scout for further untapped potential in the documentary sphere. But LalaaLou, long perceived in the YouTube community as a daring visual pioneer, is as always keen to corageously explore and map entirely new artistic landscapes.

Under this Spielbergesque directional gusto, the ensemble cast acts flawlessly as a single entity; so perfect a muse that the original vision and performance are inseparable.  One must gaze beneath the surface; beyond petty technical issues of timing and choreography, to find the poetry in this very discordance; beauty in the eye of the storm; the calm, if you will, in the chaos.  Only then does one discover the rich emotional subtext: it is not about the end product, but the journey.

Future generations might very well admire – nay, worship – this 0.38 minute manifesto as the definitive template, if not the outright final word, on Chad Kroeger commentary. I laughed. I cried. YouTube video designate elv4kGQv8EI works on every possible level, and then some more. The best independent film ever made?  Quite probably.

Comment on a YouTube video and report back to us below in our own, less vile comments section.
More reviews will be added intermittently.

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In light of recent news, let us set aside our silly podcasts and Ninja Turtle appraisal and take a moment to celebrate the human spirit.  Let’s not delude ourselves with nihilistic doomsday predictions, humanity: we are pretty darn-tootin’ great.

And for only $10.99, this greatness can be yours to cherish forever! From the Earth to the Moon, Tom Hanks’ brilliant 12-part love letter to the Apollo missions, is now sickeningly cheap on Amazon.com. If you’ve ever found yourself staring wistfully at the full moon, marvelling, as the honking drivers behind you shout “GREEN LIGHT, MORON”, that our little species could get so far, you owe it to yourself to watch this uplifting, heartbreaking and occasionally hilarious series.  My friends assure me it is officially on the list of Pop-Culture Moments In Which A Grown Man Is Permitted To Cry, right between The Time Traveller’s Wife and the ending of Terminator 2.

We now return to our regularly scheduled discussion topic: donatello from tmnt or the professor from honey i shrunk the kids who is the better mechanic??? Please leave your replies below.

Neil, Buzz, Michael, if any of you choose to celebrate your accomplishment with a quiet night indoors reading an obscure Australian/Canadian comedy page: we salute you.



MOVIE ADVENTURE!!! PART 2!!!

Posted on July 17th, 2009 by Andrey Summers

Perhaps for the first time ever in the history of this flea-bitten enterprise, we hit you with a one-two punch of Actual Content. A project, if you will, that ended on a To Be Continued…and was then actually continued. The very next day, no less.

I know, I know – tis a sign of the End Times to be sure. But as the comet passes overhead and we all slip into our tasteful scuba gear in preparation for the great tidal wave, spare a thought for part 2 of Movie Adventure – the thrilling, action-packed conclusion to a film that lowers expectations, and then exceeds them with average performance.

Dang! Flip! Rock-chucker!



MOVIE ADVENTURE!!!

Posted on July 15th, 2009 by Andrey Summers

Once and again, we men of the Chicken Frontier like to engage in projects that deviate from the standard Celebrity-Hassling and Inside-Joke-Peddling on which the mighty monolith you gaze upon right now stands built.

With this in mind, several billion years ago I, Dr. Andrey Summers stD, exuded a short script entitled “Movie Adventure”. Blood, sweat, toil, and inconvenient scheduling ensued, but inevitably resulted in a product that I am actually kind of fond of, if I do say so myself.

And I’m not sure, but I think I do. Or did. At some point. IN ANY CASE! Below lie the tedious, serpentine cliches of MOVIE ADVENTURE! PART ONE! It has, of course, been warped from its original wide-screen nature by some foul trick of idiot compression…but haven’t we all, in our youth? Hark:

Continue to PART TWO!!!



A dramatic and COMPLETELY TRUE 5-minute re-enactment of the day ThatChickenSite.com died.

Written by
Tim Morrison and Andrey Summers

Produced by
Alastair Craig

Also Starring
Michael Cope, Fiona Revill and Alastair’s Mum

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In The Rubber Chicken’s Burning Question series, we have successfully solved some of life’s greatest mysteries by asking every celebrity or inappropriate party we could find.  What is The Grimace? What do the birds and the bees do? How do you get to Sesame Street? Why does the sun shine? (The answers, in order: 1. Cloned Mutant Beetroot / 2. They Make Toast / 3.  A Global Network of Mario-Style Warp Pipes / 4. It’s Complicated.)

Isn’t it about time we applied this research technique to the Greater Good?  What if, instead of drawing upon pop-culture or lightweight philosophy, we turned to cold, hard science?

In my daily search for risqué Last Starfighter fan fiction, I accidentally stumbled upon an astronomy blog and learned a startling fact:
90% of the universe’s mass remains unaccounted for.

Today, we pitch the following question to our guests:
Where is the universe’s missing mass?

Well, Television’s Michelle Rodriguez?
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