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Shoot ‘Em Up – Film Review

Posted on June 18th, 2009 by Alastair Craig

In the motion picture film “Shoot ‘Em Up”, Clive Owen:

  • Kills not one, but two men with a carrot.
  • Has an intimate encounter with Monica Bellucci while shooting bad guys, delivers a satisfactory performance on both fronts, then turns off the light by shooting the switch.
  • Literally fires bullets with his bare hands.
  • Delivers a baby in the middle of a gunfight and severs the umbilical cord by shooting it.

In conclusion, you should probably see the motion picture film “Shoot ‘Em Up”.

3 Responses to “Shoot ‘Em Up – Film Review”

  1. Tim MorrisonNo Gravatar Says:

    Don’t forget the way he does it all while delivering a heartfelt, passionate and grounded critique of American gun culture and lax firearm control.

  2. Scott McQuaigNo Gravatar Says:

    You forgot to mention that he shoots things.

  3. Alastair CraigNo Gravatar Says:

    Looking back at those carefree, halcyon hours of youth yesterday afternoon, I recognize with the benefit of experience and hindsight that I wasn’t entirely thorough and objective in this review.

    There’s a five minute gap in there where nobody shoots anything, up or elsewhere. They talk. About what, I don’t know. I was too distracted by the lack of shooting.

    The art of cinema really did die with the silent film. Bring on the dialogue-free, black and white, honky tonk piano-dubbed fan edit.

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