The Chicken Feed

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Lee Thomas: A Musical Tribute

Posted on May 30th, 2006 by Alastair Craig

Far be it from us to take complaints unprofessionally. When we used a photo of Bill Gates playing an Xbox with a random gamer, that random gamer – one Lee Thomas, X-Tag LeeX81 – wrote to us accusing us of “misrepresenting” his “gaming allegiences”. Never mind that the photo was in the public domain, or that the completly inoffensive joke was targeted at Mr. Gates, not his strapping young friend. We tastefully complied with Lee’s wishes.

With three years of hindsight, we now realise that our treatment of the matter could have easily been mistaken for mockery. Far be it from us to turn one man’s genuine concern into a laughing matter.

Click on the below picture to hear us definitively establish our respect for Mr. Thomas’s plight in the medium of rock.

The backing track is lifted from the promotional children’s single “Seymour Rock” (Seymour, as you know, being the terrifying CGI frog mascot of Overflow, the now-defunct North Queensland, Australia bargain warehouse chain).
Out of respect to the original copyright holder, we have also included the oddly alluring original song.

If you enjoy the above item, you’ll be pleased to know we’re working suspiciously hard and with un-Rubber-Chicken-like devotion on a new ongoing audio project.
I don’t want to give anything away, but it’s a podcast.

Song Download: Ocean in My Head

Posted on December 30th, 2005 by Chris Shadforth

Another Goddamn Sea Shanty by Ferdinand Magellan & HappyBob
Guest saxophonizing by Anthony Craig

The ocean. It’s big. It’s yellow. And it’s got a melodic edge sharper than a pirate’s blade.  Today, we pay our respects to that great big loveable mass of H2O in the medium of song.  The ocean, we salute you!

Download MP3

Lyrics after the jump.

Continue Reading »

Before we embraced the world of sound with – let’s not lie here – a pretty boot-bottomly bitchin’ podcast, we had several less advisable attempts at musicianship. While we had a lot to learn in the ways of musical timing and audio editing, we hope you still enjoy these tracks in the intended spirit of amateurish fun.

To hear some competently produced tunes, check out these Songs from the Podcast.

Friedrich Nietzsche might be a household name, but does anyone really know how to pronounce it?  We took on the issue head-on through an impossible-to-ignore medium: the sea shanty.

Download Yo Ho! (The Nietzsche Pronunciation Seafaring Blues)
Download Yo Ho! (Hip-Hop Reprise)

Lyrics after the jump.

Continue Reading »

Alastair: In 2004, legal issues brought Paris Hilton’s potential hit song “Screwed” to a halt. It seems fellow aspiring teen idol Haylie “Sister Of Hillary” Duff had already recorded the song the year before, and therefore owned the rights to the performance.

While we cynics can be thankful, please spare a thought for those legitimately interested in hearing Hilton’s vocal talents. It is for their benefit that we arranged this compromise – a faithful cover of the song from our own, equally talented musician, Glancy.

Paris Hilton – Screwed.MP3

“My cowriter Kara and I had never imagined that our little pop song could sound so… well….. unique!
Definitely a braver rendering than any pop diva could give. Bravo, Glancy.”

-Greg Wells, Grammy-nominated writer/producer and co-writer of “Screwed”, TRC Mailbag

Terms & Conditions

  • The Rubber Chicken will not accept responsibility for readers accidentally circulating this MP3 on file-sharing networks, where it might accidentally be mistaken for the real song.  Though we wholeheartedly encourage it.  Not sure why we were trying to be subtle with those italics there.
  • The Rubber Chicken does not condone, under any circumstances, actually listening to the above MP3.  Not even kidding here.

For entertainment easier on the ears, check out The Rubber Chicken’s Excellent Podcast.

Embarrassing Prank Call Archive

Posted on January 29th, 2004 by Alastair Craig

Because you (literally, one of you) asked for it: a collection of The Rubber Chicken’s early prank calls we’d much rather keep burried. Be warned: these are of low fidelity and even lower comedy value. Our sincerest apologies.

Editor’s Note: If you prefer genuine comedy over having your ears and intelligence savagely defiled, why not try The Rubber Chicken Podcast, our snappy quasi-sci-fi sketch comedy series?