FACT: In his daily tech support work for The Man, Tim encounters a huge volume of unintentionally hilarious spam subject headings.
FACT: The world has been a slightly less awesome place since Spamusement.com stopped posting its priceless visual interpretations of such spam titles, and will remain slightly less awesome until somebody picks up where it left off.
FACT: Paul “Ettin” Matijevic can sketch a mean stick figure.
CONCLUSION:






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In The Rubber Chicken’s Burning Question series, we have successfully solved some of life’s greatest mysteries by asking every celebrity or inappropriate party we could find. What is The Grimace? What do the birds and the bees do? How do you get to Sesame Street? Why does the sun shine? (The answers, in order: 1. Cloned Mutant Beetroot / 2. They Make Toast / 3. A Global Network of Mario-Style Warp Pipes / 4. It’s Complicated.)
Isn’t it about time we applied this research technique to the Greater Good? What if, instead of drawing upon pop-culture or lightweight philosophy, we turned to cold, hard science?
In my daily search for risqué Last Starfighter fan fiction, I accidentally stumbled upon an astronomy blog and learned a startling fact:
90% of the universe’s mass remains unaccounted for.
Today, we pitch the following question to our guests:
Where is the universe’s missing mass?
Well, Television’s Michelle Rodriguez?
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Australians everywhere (provided they live in Melbourne, Sydney or Brisbane and use public transport) know mX – a delightful, informative and totally free daily newspaper available at train stations. Subjects span US celebrity gossip, new product lines, US celebrity trivia, sports, photographs of people in their underwear, US celebrities launching new product lines, photographs of US celebrities in their underwear, and sudoku.
Particularly worth reading is the the letters section, “Vent Your Spleen”, where fellow commuters write in to send messages to strangers they met on the train or discuss the news, politics, trains, celebrities and celebrities on trains.
Ever wanted to see what that letters section looked like, but too afraid to pick up the copy that shifty old man left on his seat with a copy of Big & Bouncy wrapped inside? Wonder no longer!


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A ripping yarn of intrigue and international espionage, as told through the most trusted of narrative devices: the answering machine.
Written and performed by
Michael Cope and Andrey Summers
With the vocal talents of Fiona Revill
Music
“Terrorist” appears courtesy of The Terrordactyls
Episode compiled by Andrey Summers
Additional material and editing by Alastair Craig
Directly Download MP3
Subscribe to TRC Podcast to stay up-to-date with new shows.
iTunes / Google Reader / myAOL / My Yahoo / Bloglines.
Continue reading for lyrics, episode commentary and other compelling miscellany
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Posted on January 1st, 2006 by
Ben K
While everyone else was partying all New Year’s Eve and drinking themselves blind last night, what was I doing? Well of course, I was watching the ground-breaking Subterano on Channel Nine – starring Heartbreak High‘s Alex Dimitriades and Blue Heelers’ Tasma Walton.
And what a quality piece of work it is! The movie is two hours of PEOPLE STUCK IN A CARPARK. But what makes is great is the hilariously awful acting, and the killer robots along with the cute little robot with the high pitched voice that eventually gets melted. One robot cuts off an old security guard’s feet after he begs for his life. THEN, another robot with a drill bit on the end zooms up to his head and drills him right in the eye!!!
Apparently it’s based on some comic or video game or something, I don’t know, I was blinded by the bad acting and the over-the-top death scenes. Like the one where the kid got sliced in half in the elevator.
But the best bit would have to be the end – you see Conrad (Dimitriades), Stone (Walton) and…some girl jump away from the camera towards the ocean and the mountains, and it does a FREEZE FRAME.
Movie of the year.
Well, last year, anyway.
Alastair: This guest strip was kindly donated by Famous Political Cartoonist JJ McCullough from Filibuster Cartoons. He might not be familiar with the Crap Comic series’ story, author, art style, or even its basic concept, but I’m sure we can all agree he’s captured its essence perfectly. Thanks, JJ!

This edition is dedicated to The Other Guy From “Wham!“

Still doing a wonderful job of not being George Michael.
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You may have noticed that Something Awf The Rubber Chicken’s poll has been closed down for nearly eight billion years, displaying the mysterious message “closed while we search for a poll service that hasn’t whored itself to pop-up adver-
Okay, the message is way too long, and is a lie anyway so I’m not going to bother trying to remember the rest of it. Instead, here’s the dirty and somewhat obvious truth: nobody’s been searching for anything. In fact, the “administration” here (hahahahahahahahahahaha) has gladly forgotten all about its extinct poll the same way they cried their crocodile tears about September 11th, and then partnered with Halliburton during the privatization of Iraq. You’re probably wondering where Chad is. Well, he’s in an oil derrick outside Fellujah (Microsoft Word Dictionary: “Elijah?”).
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View more posts filed under Letters and Words, A Steak And Mushroom Pie, Australia, Iraq, Nudity, Rant, Rare, Russia, Self-Referential, Summer Glau is Making Pancakes, The Rubber Chicken, Topical
Alastair: When I announce, as I often do, that I have met the Andrey Summers, the usual reaction is disbelief. “Surely not the distinguished actor who graduated from the University of East Anglia to land a supporting role in the Indiana Jones films, later playing the fat professor in the first two seasons of Sliders, and recently starring as Gimli and Treebeard in the blockbuster Lord of the Rings trilogy?” my audience would ask, to which I’d reply “no, that’s John Rhys-Davies.”
Hair? Eyes? Distinguishing facial features? I can confirm that Andrey does, in fact, have all of these. But the most distinguishing feature on Andrey’s face would have to have been that large piece of broccoli stuck between his teeth. I probably should have told him about that before I left. (Joke © Aussie Ben, 2004)
What follows is our long-awaited account of that fruity and fruitful meeting between myself and Andrey, and vice versa. And only nine months after the fact – honestly, we spoil you.
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View more posts filed under Letters and Words, Adventure, Andrey and Alastair: The Original Odd Couple, Australia, Books, He Said She Said, John Rhys-Davies, Popular X-Box Game Halo, Relationships, Screaming, Tacos, Terrifying Tales of the Real World
Posted on October 12th, 2004 by
Ben K
This edition is dedicated to the cast of popular Australian Sitcom “Hey, Dad!”

For giving us an excuse to go outside between 1986 – 1994.
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View more posts filed under Letters and Words, A Steak And Mushroom Pie, Australia, Bowel Movements, Ethel Roberts, Food, Furry Fun, Games, Grimace, HappyBob Hair, Harry Potter, Jar Jar Binks, Lee Thomas, Legal Threat, Mailbag, McDonalds, Movie World, Poetry, Politics, That Goddamn Fridge Joke, The Mullet, Time Cube, TRC Mailbag, Wallpaper, Xbox