The Chicken Feed

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In this bonus episode: another collection of outtakes tasteless even by our standards.

In the interests of public safety and social conscience, the audio recording described as “The Rubber Chicken Podisode #2″ carries the following content warnings:

HIMN: Horendous Improvised Musical Number
MS: Medium-level Movie Spoilers
BoP: Bag of Puppies
DAO: Strong Discrimination Against Orphans
SNH: Sir Nigel Haversmith
CAWE: Conversation About Wine and Ears
S-D: Mild Splicey-Dicey sequence that may be unsuitable for small children

This Podisode has been classified with a rating of RU (Reprehensible and Unreleasable). If you believe this rating to be in error, an appeal can be submitted in writing to

Compiled by Tim Morrison

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(And, if you dare, the Offensive Song deemed too offensive for this compilation of too-offensive material.)

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Now, I know what you’re thinking.  How is it that God made me so much weaker and more pathetic than everyone else?  How long is it before everything I’ve worked to build for myself fails, and I’m left a vacant stall of a human with nothing but a stool-sample to be proud of?  Where did I go wrong?

Well, you’re drinking dairy, that’s where. You SHOULD be drinking Silk. And here’s why.


The prostate, like the Cadillac, is an important part of the male reproductive system. It’s a gland about the size of a Zulu Shrunken Head that surrounds the urethra (the tube that carries urine from the bladder to the toilet seat, and areas up to a meter around the bowl) and lies at the base of the bladder. This gland secretes about 25% of the seminal fluid that is combined with sperm during Friday On Showcase. This prostatic fluid protects and energizes sperm, like a Super Mushroom in Mario World. Increased growth of the prostate can sometimes lead to health problems such as BPH (Big-time Prostate Hurtin’) – a benign enlargement of the prostate that causes uncomfortable symptoms – and possibly impolite laughter and ridicule among your peers.

Soy foods can protect your prostate. Some studies indicate that even one glass of soymilk every day is enough to provide your prostate with the protective benefits of soy. Other studies indicate that these first studies are biased, but statistics say that these studies are unreliable, due to their bias toward reliability, which, like any bias, is unreliable unless proven otherwise by various studies. According to a study at Loma Linda University, men who consumed soymilk at least once per day had a 70% reduced risk of developing prostate cancer, and were gay.

Don’t take chances with your prostate! If you’re going to bet a lot of money on one game of poker, leave your prostate in the hotel room! You remember those weird, spasmic ass-pains you were having, Alastair Robert Craig of 14 Earl Av, Brisbane, QLD? That’s your God-damned Prostate! Are you listening to me, dammit?

Related Links: SexChat with the Formless Underlord of the Crimson Kingdom

Mailbag: A Man Named Clive

Posted on October 12th, 2004 by Ben K

This edition is dedicated to the cast of popular Australian Sitcom “Hey, Dad!”

For giving us an excuse to go outside between 1986 – 1994.

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Poogle on a Stick

Posted on June 1st, 2004 by Paul Matijevic

(Read the full story on The Rubber Chicken Wiki.)

Lee Thomas: A Tribute to a Hero

Posted on December 26th, 2003 by Mister Bung

Alastair: Remember ? You know, Ben’s quirky, insightful and (hah!) weekly series adding dialogue from old LucasArts adventure games to real-world photos? If not, I know what you’re thinking: what a delightful idea! There is absolutely no chance of this offending anybody!

One man defied those expectations. One man broke the shackles and challenged us. Today we pay tribute to this man – this hero – the only way we know how: with an insane and the not-at-all defamatory Flash animation from Bungholio.

View in Epic Fullscreen

Related Links:
Lee Thomas: A Musical Tribute
Mailbag: Lee Thomas Fights Back
Stolen Image Trickery: The Animated Series

New to Take a look at some Rubber Chicken highlights from the decade since.

The exclusive leaked script for George Lucas’s upcoming 2005 return to his student film roots.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….



After three years of combat, the treacherous CLONE WARS have finally come to an end. Anakin Skywalker, young padawan of General Obi-Wan Kenobi, has slain the villainous Count Dooku and become a full-fledged Jedi Knight. During the height of combat, Anakin managed to impregnate his wife Padme Amidala through a BROKEN CONDOM. On the cusp of childbirth, C-3P0 and Senator Jar Jar Binks have rushed the bride of Skywalker to Coruscant General Hospital where she’s nearing the end of her exhaustive labor….

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Bung’s Intranetweb Shenanigans #1

Posted on June 15th, 2003 by Mister Bung

Instant messenger pranks from our carefree youth, immortalised online at the expense of an older, wise Mister Bung’s employment prospects and pride.

This has been laying around for quite some time now on my computer, and has been viewed by many a kinsfolk, all who grew warts the sizes of pumpkins- but I think that was just the water.  But fear not, as any concerns you have can be directed towards myself or this seagull.

who are you

I am man who likes goats.
Do you like goats?

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Posted on February 25th, 2001 by Mr. Karl

Previous Episode:
Promotional Message #2
The Happy Adventure Series Next Episode:
Clash of the Cretins

New to Take a look at some Rubber Chicken highlights from the decade since,
or sample our sketch comedy radio series.