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They spell "Programme" the long way, so you know it's all class.In recent weeks, I’ve had the absolute pleasure of playing a supporting role in The Vine: Donkey Kong Audio Programme.   I must insist you have the absolute pleasure of listening to it.

Not into video games?  That’s okay, neither are the hosts.  Think of it as the legitimate front for crude but classy conversational comedy.  It’s a mammoth production, a huge labour of love, and brimming with the warmly familiar, silky-smooth voices of Rubber Chicken alumni.

Be warned: Emmy-winnng hosts Chad and Hyle are not the most tactful gentlemen, and tend to use masturbation jokes as punctuation.  You’ll hate yourself for laughing, but oh, you will laugh.

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I’m told the website you’re currently reading has an audio programme too.  It’s not ringing any bells, but I’ll look into it.



Wanna B N Angel

Posted on June 13th, 2008 by Gord Myren

A modern hip-hop ballad (like the kids like) about lofty career aspirations.
The closing song of Podcast 204 – The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Podcast

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Lyrics by Andrey Summers.  Music by Gord Myren.
Recorded by the Red Square Collective.

More songs from The Rubber Chicken Podcast

Lyrics after the jump

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History’s Greatest Procrastinators
(Next week: History’s Greatest Masturbators)

A forward by Alastair “HappyBob” Craig, Editor of TheRubberChickeN64.

  • In 1964, Brian Wilson began work on The Beach Boys’ would-be magnum opus: Smile. A direct answer to The Beatles’ Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, this classic album could have changed music history were it not aborted following a series of complications and a nervous breakdown from Wilson himself. The Next Big Thing in rock ‘n’ roll was reduced to a mildly interesting footnote in musical history… until now. In 2004, Brian confronted his demons and recorded the album from scratch, creating a wonderful, timeless masterpiece that was well worth the wait. Finally, his vision was complete.
  • Throughout the 1990s, writer and comic mastermind Douglas Adams struggled to organise a film adaptation of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. “The Hollywood process,” he once remarked, “is like trying to grill a steak by having a succession of people come into the room and breathe on it”. Sadly, Adams passed away before he could see his pet project become a reality, with the movie showing few signs of progress… until now. In 2005, The Hitchhiker’s Guide finally saw completion in the capable hands of Garth Jennings, who created something arguably worthy of the late Adams’ memory.
  • In 2000, Adam “The Phantom Spoon” Severgnini was bored on a bus trip to high school.  To pass the time, he penned a review of Rare’s newly released Perfect Dark for TheRubberChickeN64, the newly-launched Nintendo review / silly animation hub we started together.  He passed it to me on the assumption that I’d type it up that afternoon. Tragically, I forgot, and his notes sat ignored in the bottom of a box under my bed… until now.

Ladyfolk and gentlebeings, you are about to witness history itself unfolding. We are gathered here today for the WORLD PREMIERE of that famous unfinished masterpiece, five years late, but forever ageless in its beauty:

The Phantom Spoon’s EXCLUSIVE Review of Perfect Dark: GoldenEye 2!

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It’s okay. You can unshield your eyes now. “Cadbury Creme Fantasies” was an incredibly subtle and elaborate joke.

We originally hoped to have it up on April Fools Day. Obviously, it wasn’t. Or perhaps it was, and the results were so horrifying our minds suppressed the very memory of the chocolate-coated trauma. Time (plus years of therapy and countless nights of waking up at 3am in a cold sweat) will tell.

Special thanks to TRC newcomer “Chris” for the idea and spectacular anti-erotic modelling work, and to “Rachelle” for also sacrificing her dignity (if quite enthusiastically) for shallow internet fame.

It’s back to business as usual, then! Watch this space:.

.

Well? Are you watching it?

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Chad Surname is the MAN for YOU!

Posted on July 12th, 2004 by Andrey Summers

Hello, Ladies. If you’re like me, then you’re male, in which case stop reading now, but if you’re a single woman between the ages of 17 and 21, then perk up your ears and pluck out your eyebrows, because have I ever got a surprise for you.

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