The Chicken Feed

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Poetry Night: Jar Jar Binks

Posted on May 22nd, 2008 by Chad McCanna

Alastair: Once more, TRC alumn and newly baptised podcast initiate Chad McCanna was kind enough to travel back in time to a 2004 poetry night to help pad out this slow, rhyme-deprived month.  Ta, love.



Amazonian Ethel

Posted on December 1st, 2005 by Alastair Craig

Reader Reviews from TRC’s Resident Puritan Nutcase

We’re sorry – we really don’t know how it happened, but what’s done is done and there’s no use making excuses. Somebody has introduced our favourite fictitious fundimentalist critic, Ethel Roberts, to Amazon.com.

Yes, Ethel Roberts. Crusader for the good and champion of the pure. She emerges now, shielded with self-righteousness and sething with strongly worded paragraphs, here to let the world at large now how she feels about not only this, but also that. Especially that.

Come with her now as she snaps on the rubber gloves and runs a finger around the inside of Amazon.com’s Reader Reviews section.

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The Rubber Chicken scores an interview with Darren Gargette, a former tester for one of the world’s most secretive video game development companies, to uncover The Truth behind upcoming Xbox 360 titles Kameo, Perfect Dark Zero, and perhaps even a few unannounced Rare projects…

Back in the Rarenet days I made a very good friend, “Boggy”. He is also known as Darren Gargette, who is incidentally in the credits of Grabbed by the Ghoulies, Donkey Kong Country 2, and Sabre Wulf as a beta-tester (but I’m pretty sure his name is actually Boggy and he really is some sort of fat polar bear who seriously believes that being dive-bombed by a bear on a sled with sharp pointy runners is a good way to fix stomach ache).

I managed to score a secret interview with said (ex-)beta-tester about his time at legendary videogame developers Rare, and this is that interview.

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Firstly, it’s high time I acknowledged our Star Wars fan readership:
Hello.

If any Rubber Chicken readers…
Actually, if I may digress for a moment (ignoring that this update is essentially one embarassingly large digression – but I digress) we really need a proper name for Rubber Chicken fans. “Achickenados” has a certain awkward charm. If you have any better suggestions, please get in touch.
Now if I’d kindly stop interrupting…

If any of you tentatively-titled achickenados live in Brisbane, Australia, you can find me queuing up for Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith at the Queen Street Mall Regent Cinemas from late tomorrow afternoon until midnight. I’ll be the bloodied corpse in the gutter, bludgeoned to death by plastic lightsabres, wearing the traditional home-made “Jar Jar Binks Sombrero” costume.

It’s been lovely knowing you all.



Guest review by Andrew Sumner.
WARNING: contains more spoilers than a garage of riced-out pimp-rockets.

I have a friend named Dan who works at the Rialto Cineplex in downtown White Rock. Frequently, the entire theatre (all 24 screens, no less) is leased out by corporations who want to cordon it off for some kind of function, or other. Last Friday, I got a frantic call from him saying that I should get down there right away, and that I would not regret it. Little did I know that Dan would be sneaking me into a private showing of Star Wars 3!!!


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Pants Dants Exposed

Posted on September 19th, 2004 by Alastair Craig, Chad McCanna, and Ben K

“We arent really new. We’ve been kicking like a mutated cow for nearly 3 years now, and I think we’re finally recieving the attention we deserve.”

Ahh, Rare-Extreme. “Sharply written”, “witty” and “reliable” are but a few adjectives one could easily place next to their name with the aid of any functional writing instrument or word processor. The technology is there, and we aren’t in a position to stop you.

Over the years R-E have made contact with many reliable inside sources, promising the secret behind Banjo-Kazooie’s infamous “Stop ‘N’ Swop” feature (but never revealing it), confirming Perfect Dark 2′s appearance at E3 2002 (which never showed it), and even scoring a tour of Rare HQ. Yes, they’ve done it all. We at The Rubber Chicken might have had occasional creative differences with Rare-Extreme, but it doesn’t mean we don’t respect them as fellow journalists. Sometimes a gentleman must swallow his pride and give credit to his enemies. In the following exposé, we hope to establish their credibility once and for all.

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When I accused J.K. Rowling of promoting witchcraft with her Harry Potter series, little did I expect this could be perceived as an accusation that J.K. Rowling actually promoted witchcraft with her Harry Potter series.

Nor, when I encouraged Rubber Chicken readers to advertise the link on Harry Potter message boards, did I expect any hate mail.

The below email is one of literally hundreds sent to Ethel Roberts, the manifesto’s fictitious author.

Let’s hope we can sort out this little misunderstanding peacefully and professionally.

Special thanks go to the Forumites for their suggestions and feedback all the way through.  You all rock harder than a particularly rocky rock with a penchant for rock music and a strong mind to purchase “The Scorpian King” on DVD some day, maybe, if it’s on the cheap.

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Today is the sixteenth day of the month – Do Something Controversial Day – a day in ‘Chicken town usually reserved for childish and spiteful pranks. But this time, we’ll make an exception.

As many of you know, several key members of The Rubber Chicken have past affiliations with the fan community of videogame developers Rare. Somewhere along the way, our former websites fell into rivalry with the kids at Rare-Extreme.com. But today, my friends… today we concede defeat.

Rare-Extreme recently obtained the impossible: a guided tour of Rare HQ itself, and posted a fascinating, well-written talisman of fine journalism on this incredible once-in-a-lifetime experience. To show there are no longer any hard feelings between us, and to make up for any past bitterness, we offer the following reconciliatory plug their fine website. Check it out now, y’all.

Rare-Extreme’s EXCLUSIVE Tour of Rare HQ



Lee Thomas: A Tribute to a Hero

Posted on December 26th, 2003 by Mister Bung

Alastair: Remember ? You know, Ben’s quirky, insightful and (hah!) weekly series adding dialogue from old LucasArts adventure games to real-world photos? If not, I know what you’re thinking: what a delightful idea! There is absolutely no chance of this offending anybody!

One man defied those expectations. One man broke the shackles and challenged us. Today we pay tribute to this man – this hero – the only way we know how: with an insane and the not-at-all defamatory Flash animation from Bungholio.


View in Epic Fullscreen

Related Links:
Lee Thomas: A Musical Tribute
Mailbag: Lee Thomas Fights Back
Stolen Image Trickery: The Animated Series

New to ThatChickenSite.com? Take a look at some Rubber Chicken highlights from the decade since.



Highlights from The Rubber Chicken’s Stolen Image Trickery series, in which we exact mild revenge on bloggers remotely hotlinking our pictures, with allegedly hilarious results.

A quick educational brief on the Magical World of Bandwidth! When I pay the US$60 per year required to host The Rubber Chicken, those expenses cover a certain amount of downloads from the page per month. When somebody posts an image from our webspace on another site or forum, that person is effectively stealing.  Enter karma: it also means we have complete power over what appears on their side. We’ve tracked down two such offenders, thieving bandwidth like the filthy bandwidth thieves they are.

Let’s have some fun.

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