The Chicken Feed

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Movie: Chris Cares

Posted on September 15th, 2005 by Chris Shadforth

What terrifies a university student above all else? If you answered “exams”, “tuition fees” or “an uncertain future”, I can only ask what you thought to gain in giving sincere, vocal replies to a clearly tongue-in-cheek rhetorical question from a writer who clearly can’t hear you. The misleadingly introduced answer is, of course, “student elections”.

The concept of a student union is all well and good, but it’s hard to appreciate the big picture when you’re getting pamphlets shoved in your face at every turn.  Both competing parties subscribe to the same mind-numbing bombardment techniques that have worked so well in the past (see: internet advertising).  Where they’re trying to encourage voters, this assault on the senses only serves to drive them away.

To make our thoughts known, we launched our own flyer campaign targeted exclusively at flyer distributors themselves.

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Weekly Workplace Rebellion

Posted on July 6th, 2005 by Alastair Craig

My former employers didn’t appreciate these anonymous contributions to the staff room.

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Alastair: In 2004, legal issues brought Paris Hilton’s potential hit song “Screwed” to a halt. It seems fellow aspiring teen idol Haylie “Sister Of Hillary” Duff had already recorded the song the year before, and therefore owned the rights to the performance.

While we cynics can be thankful, please spare a thought for those legitimately interested in hearing Hilton’s vocal talents. It is for their benefit that we arranged this compromise – a faithful cover of the song from our own, equally talented musician, Glancy.

Paris Hilton – Screwed.MP3

“My cowriter Kara and I had never imagined that our little pop song could sound so… well….. unique!
Definitely a braver rendering than any pop diva could give. Bravo, Glancy.”

-Greg Wells, Grammy-nominated writer/producer and co-writer of “Screwed”, TRC Mailbag

Terms & Conditions

  • The Rubber Chicken will not accept responsibility for readers accidentally circulating this MP3 on file-sharing networks, where it might accidentally be mistaken for the real song.  Though we wholeheartedly encourage it.  Not sure why we were trying to be subtle with those italics there.
  • The Rubber Chicken does not condone, under any circumstances, actually listening to the above MP3.  Not even kidding here.

For entertainment easier on the ears, check out The Rubber Chicken’s Excellent Podcast.



A recap of the Arctic White Campaign, The Rubber Chicken’s month-long crusade to rig a breakfast cereal election.

As you are no doubt aware, the Australian division of Kellogg’s Cereal let us, Froot Loop eating public, choose the new colour to join the green, orange, red and yellow we all know and love. Always the equal opportunity campaigners, we began a movement to elect the least likely candidate: Arctic White.  For every day of the last month, The Rubber Chicken’s readers and writers have been casting multiple votes for this wonderfully mundane colour hundreds of times over.

Sadly, but not surprisingly, Kellogg’s couldn’t handle the results.  Today, the false glory is heaped upon Sky Blue.

With this outright robbery of our democratic rights, our dreams are shattered.  Shattered like glass. Glass under an elephant’s foot. The foot of the elephant of manipulative multinational cereal companies. An elephant which has eaten peanuts. The peanuts of rigged election results. Grown in a peanut farm of LIES!

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