The Chicken Feed

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If there’s one thing that can be said about The Rubber Chicken, then I guess logically this sentence is it.
Luckily, that’s not the case. In fact, the things that can be said about this uproarious, delightful little cyber-corner of information-super-whimsy are probably as numerous (if not more-so) as the site’s oddly diverse readership. And I do use the word “oddly” with calculated discretion, because despite the fact that we make jokes all the time about how we have no readers, the fact is that we do have them. We have quite an inventory, honestly.

This is due to the fact that TRC is unusually well-Googled. People type things into search-engines, scan down the list of results and routinely choose our site as the solution to whatever quandary it is that’s driven them to type key-words into a text-box.

Driven by curiosity, boredom and hubris, I decided this month to take a peek at the man behind the curtain (this is a Wizard of Oz metaphor, not me walking in on a guy showering), and leaf through our visitation statistics for April 2007. Herein, I came upon the full list of keywords typed into search-engines like Google that then resulted in people clicking on us.

Below are some of the highlights, and boy do they present a nightmarish cross-section of the kind of people YOU apparently are. Bear in mind, you filthy cadre of rat-like degenerates, that I am not making up these search results for a laugh. This is honestly what you people are looking for when you end up finding us. May God have mercy on you.

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Friedrich Nietzsche was evicted from the womb in 1776 by a woman who, by the most astonishing of coincidences, turned out to he his mother. Birth, however, is where Nietzsche’s similarity to the rest of the human race ends, for he was and is, in exactly the same way as every other famous thinker, truly unique.

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Before we embraced the world of sound with – let’s not lie here – a pretty boot-bottomly bitchin’ podcast, we had several less advisable attempts at musicianship. While we had a lot to learn in the ways of musical timing and audio editing, we hope you still enjoy these tracks in the intended spirit of amateurish fun.

To hear some competently produced tunes, check out these Songs from the Podcast.

Friedrich Nietzsche might be a household name, but does anyone really know how to pronounce it?  We took on the issue head-on through an impossible-to-ignore medium: the sea shanty.

Download Yo Ho! (The Nietzsche Pronunciation Seafaring Blues)
Download Yo Ho! (Hip-Hop Reprise)

Lyrics after the jump.

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