The Chicken Feed

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Alastair: If there’s one thing the superficial persona I invented for the sake of this introduction can’t stand, it’s ambiguous lyrics. When I’m getting down to the doof doof doof doof music us young people totally dig, I want the song’s meaning to be unmistakably obvious.

Piece of Me by Britney Spears, on the other hand, is a piece riddled with riddles. With odd self-depreciating lines like “Oh my god, that Britney’s shameless” and seemingly unrelated references to the paparazzi, it’s impossible to tell where she’s going without some sort of in-depth, line-by-line analysis. And so with the moral support (of the writing-several-passages-outright variety) of Chad McCanna and Andrey Summers, I put together exactly that.

Sensitive readers are advised that the following article contains graphic images of the spiky-haired guy from Good Charlotte.

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Mailbag: Jesus Wants Spiritual Fruit

Posted on February 28th, 2006 by Ben K

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Mailbag: A Man Named Clive

Posted on October 12th, 2004 by Ben K

This edition is dedicated to the cast of popular Australian Sitcom “Hey, Dad!”

For giving us an excuse to go outside between 1986 – 1994.

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When I accused J.K. Rowling of promoting witchcraft with her Harry Potter series, little did I expect this could be perceived as an accusation that J.K. Rowling actually promoted witchcraft with her Harry Potter series.

Nor, when I encouraged Rubber Chicken readers to advertise the link on Harry Potter message boards, did I expect any hate mail.

The below email is one of literally hundreds sent to Ethel Roberts, the manifesto’s fictitious author.

Let’s hope we can sort out this little misunderstanding peacefully and professionally.

Special thanks go to the Forumites for their suggestions and feedback all the way through.  You all rock harder than a particularly rocky rock with a penchant for rock music and a strong mind to purchase “The Scorpian King” on DVD some day, maybe, if it’s on the cheap.

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THE TRUTH BEHIND HARRY POTTER!

Posted on July 5th, 2003 by Alastair Craig

A guest essay by Ethel J. Roberts, Author & Critic.

I recently paid a visit to my local shopping centre to confront my local supermarket about the price of a recently-purchased jar of rhubarb, and was sick and disgusted at what I found. Hundreds of children, all lining up like lemmings for the new instalment of The Adventures of Harry Potter: Boy Wizard. This controversial book series has been boycotted by tens of millions of readers worldwide for its promotion of witchcraft. Despite the overwhelming pressure on bookstores and libraries to ban the series, the authorities continue to sit by idly while our youth are secretly corrupted and brainwashed with blatantly pagan and un-Christian ideals.

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A small sample of the comic genius YOU are missing out on by living in a different country to Mr. Shaun Micallef.

micallef1

This is just ridiculous. Not only has comedian and television personality Shaun Micallef yet to reach total world domination, but he’s only reaching the miniscule audience of millions of Australian viewers! We’ll soon fix that. With the magic of this wonderful Inter-Web Net Thingy, I can let all sorts of people around the world know about Shaun’s many hilarious shenanigans. I claim no responsibilty for the jokes, though. They’re all Shaun’s. I’m just ‘spreading the word’, as it were.

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