Andrey: Here at whatchickenlist.gov, we are all about the environment. By this I am, of course, suggesting only that at any given moment we are in or near the environment, but I like to think that makes us an authority on the matter. Certainly as much of an authority as an arguably un-elected Presidential Candidate who at one time had no beard, then grew a beard, and then just shaved it off again.
If Al Gore can’t even decide what his own face looks like, how can he reliably perform plastic surgery on the face of our planet? This question is implicitly asked and tacitly answered by our own Alastair Robert Craig in a feature that he did not title The Unofficial Spice Girls Reunion Scrapbook. To find out what he really titled it, you’ll just have to Admit You’re A Spice Girls Fan. Just kidding. You can also Click Here.
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The sun. Giver of life. Melter of ice creams. An all-around top-notch ball of incandescent gas. Yet behind that orb of brightness dwells a past of darkness. Of all the alleged scientific “facts”, none satisfactorily explain its motivation. Neither you nor I would choose to burn hundreds of millions of tonnes of hydrogen each second without a good reason. Why would the average star bother?
Why, in the name of Mighty Odin, does the sun shine?
To uncover the truth, we turned to the only power greater than our mighty solar benefactor: celebrities.
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View more posts filed under Letters and Words, Aaron Allston, Academy Award Winner Steve Box, Ain't It Cool News, Bob McGrath, Celebrity Burning Question, Conspiracy, Disney, Double Fine, DuckTales, Elliot Goblet, Elvis and Slick Monty, Greg Wells, Harry Knowles, Hassling People Of Importance, Joe Dolce, Let's See How Long We Can Annoy Noam Chomsky, Mayor Stuart Drummond, Michelle Rodriguez, Movies, Muppets, Neighbours, Nick Earls, Nostalgia, Paul Whitelaw, Peter Combe, Science, Sealand, Sean Williams, Sesame Street, Something Awful, Star Wars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Television, Terry McGovern, The Best of TRC, Tim Schafer, Uri Geller, Warwick Davis's Ellipses-Loving Letter Answerer
Posted on March 20th, 2006 by
Ben K
“Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame street?”
……………………-”Sesame Street” theme song. Written by Joe Raposo, Jon Stone & Bruce Hart
Ever since Sesame Street debuted in 1969, this question has haunted us relentlessly. This says a lot for our obsession, because we weren’t born until the 80s. For you see, while the universally beloved children’s show cheerfully asks the question, it never actually divulges the answer.
How do you get Sesame Street?
Today we’re going to find out the only way we know how: by asking every awesome celebrity who will care to listen. Meanwhile, Aussie Ben will try to combine them into a single coherent answer. A recipe for madness, or a salmon cake of bitter disappointment? You be the judge.
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View more posts filed under Letters and Words, Aaron Allston, Bob McGrath, Breakfast Cereals And Associated Wheat-Based Digestibles, Celebrity Burning Question, Double Fine, Elvis and Slick Monty, Greg Wells, Haikus, Hassling People Of Importance, Intermission, Japan, Joe Dolce, Kenny Kramer, Let's See How Long We Can Annoy Noam Chomsky, Mayor Stuart Drummond, Men Without Hats, Muppets, Mystery, Rare, Robbie Rist, Sesame Street, Terry McGovern, Warwick Davis's Ellipses-Loving Letter Answerer
When Aussie Ben began his Crap Comic series – nay, confronting sequence of contemporary masterpii – he gazed up at the glow-in-the-dark Glow Zone stars on his bedroom ceiling and said: “Some day, world. Some day, I’m going to make it big”.
And here he is, two years later, producing guest comics for the finest names in the business: Penny Arcade. PVP. VG Cats. Calvin & Hobbes. Garfield. Batman. The list goes on and on. In hindsight, though, he probably should have asked for their permission first.
Dear reader, would you care to Hassle People of Importance with us once again?
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View more posts filed under Scribbles and Scrawls, Batman, Comic, Crap Comic, Double Fine, Filibuster Cartoons, Games, Garfield, Guest Strip, Hassling People Of Importance, Parody, Politics, Sam and Max, Telltale, The Best of TRC, Tim Schafer, Tomfoolery, Wii
Posted on February 11th, 2004 by
Ben K
In the Celebrity Burning Question series, we contact as many celebrities or obscure parties as possible with one of life’s great questions. This edition: what do the birds and the bees really DO?
Ever since Jewel Akens sang “The Birds and the Bees” in the mid-1960s, we’ve all wondered what, exactly, the Birds and the Bees actually did. As the Bees and the Birds are quite clearly two different species, presumably with incompatible size and sexual behaviour, any intimate act would clearly be uncomfortable, if not impossible. No siree, this is a cover for something far more complex. We have vowed to solve this Burning Question the only way possible: by emailing assorted celebrities and entirely inappropriate parties.
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Just a few of the experts we contacted:
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View more posts filed under Letters and Words, Breakfast Cereals And Associated Wheat-Based Digestibles, Celebrity Burning Question, Double Fine, Games, Hassling People Of Importance, Let's See How Long We Can Annoy Noam Chomsky, Mayor Stuart Drummond, Music, Mystery, Relationships, Sexual Intercourse, The Wonderful World of Animals, Tim Schafer, Time Cube, Xbox, ZoneTick
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 Alastair Craig
Return Address
Removed
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The Manager
“Pizza Hut”
Shop 2/214-218
Waterworks Rd.
Ashgrove 4060
September 10, 2003
Hi, I’ll have a Big Mac!!!!!!!
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More Exceptionally Mild Tomfoolery
Celebrity Burning Question: What is The Grimace?
Prank: Stolen Image Trickery
Fake Election Campaign: Chris Cares
Posted on August 18th, 2003 by
Ben K
Alastair: Australian comedian Shaun Micallef is somewhat of a demigod to The Rubber Chicken’s Australian writers. His previous sketch comedy series is eerily similar to the sort of show we would make, but for our lack of time, money and talent. It was therefore only natural that we await Micallef Tonight, his long-overdue return to television, as parents would their firstborn. And when that show (let’s end the baby metaphor here before things get ugly) was prematurely axed by the Nine Network after barely two months on air, we considered it a direct and personal insult.
The following retaliatory letters won’t bring the show back, but they just might waste precious seconds of a Channel Nine secretary’s time. And in the end, that’s what ThatChickenSite.com is all about. More importantly, we hope they give you a good chuckle, and go that little way in restoring the laughs robbed from the world in these dark, dark days.
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View more posts filed under Letters and Words, Australia, Hassling People Of Importance, Hats, Micallef Tonight, News, Pants Or Lack Thereof, Sexual Intercourse, Shaun Micallef, Television, Tomfoolery
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Dear Mary-Kate and Ashley,
You are adopted.
