I’m not sure if any of you have ever been sick, but when you are like I am right now, oftentimes you will become mentally handicapped, and it’s one of the most terrifying experiences you can ever have. I went to sleep last night around 9:30 PM, seven hours earlier than usual. I had been dreaming of Pee Wee Herman’s playhouse, but it kept getting hotter and hotter. Eventually, Cowboy Curtis caught on fire, and Chairy caught on fire, and that genis head in the box caught on fire and Pee Wee started running around and I started screaming. I sat down in Chairy, but she was on fire, and I caught on fire too.
I awoke with a start, sweating, terrified, and six feet off the ground. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, left foot, and head. Something was definitely not good, and I was going to get to th— Six feet off the ground? What?!? I looked down, flopped around in sheer panic, and eventually came to the conclusion that I was in the top bunk bed, the same place I’ve been sleeping the last three months. My roommate was noisily watching TV, and I stared at the side of his head intently for about thirty seconds. He thought he was so great. I could watch TV too, but I decided against it because, after all, I was very high off the ground.
“Alchemy is… do you want gold?” I asked.
“I can make you gold out of lead, because I am an alchemist. If you want gold out of straw or water I can make straw gold and water gold.”
Remember that crap comic I did a few days back? Many begged for me to stop, but you know – if you stop at one, then you’ll only have one crap comic. And that just won’t do.