What terrifies a university student above all else? If you answered “exams”, “tuition fees” or “an uncertain future”, I can only ask what you thought to gain in giving sincere, vocal replies to a clearly tongue-in-cheek rhetorical question from a writer who clearly can’t hear you. The misleadingly introduced answer is, of course, “student elections”.
The concept of a student union is all well and good, but it’s hard to appreciate the big picture when you’re getting pamphlets shoved in your face at every turn. Both competing parties subscribe to the same mind-numbing bombardment techniques that have worked so well in the past (see: internet advertising). Where they’re trying to encourage voters, this assault on the senses only serves to drive them away.
To make our thoughts known, we launched our own flyer campaign targeted exclusively at flyer distributors themselves.
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Well amputate my armadillo and send me back to ‘Nam, Prudence – it’s that time of month again! With precious hours remaining of Do Something Controversial Day in non-Australian (and, I would argue, lesser) time zones, we once again take the freefall plunge towards that certain, splattery doom we like to call “indecency”.
Avert your eyes, elderly women. Grasp that flask of holy water for dear life, Catholic priests. For our younger readers, we cannot take responsibility for the lifelong emotional damage that can and will follow. Proceed with caution – or suicidal recklessness, whichever suits you – to our first Daily Petition.
(Those of you not familiar with Nikki Webster’s work can find more information here, and the offending photo shoot, which is mercifully unrevealing and disturbing only on principle, here. Although we strongly advise you don’t.)
When I read Hyle’s original Virtuaikus, a sense of wonder came over me. Here was the perfect format in which to express my feelings for the Virtual Boy, and I had never realized it. Of course, since he covered looking to the past, the nostalgia of the Virtual Boy, I thought I would tackle a subject even more near and dear to my heart.
And so I present to you, a fifteen-haiku epic chronicling my training to become a Galactic Warrior, as sanctioned and mentored by Mac Tonight, the MOONMAN.
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