The Chicken Feed

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In light of recent news, let us set aside our silly podcasts and Ninja Turtle appraisal and take a moment to celebrate the human spirit.  Let’s not delude ourselves with nihilistic doomsday predictions, humanity: we are pretty darn-tootin’ great.

And for only $10.99, this greatness can be yours to cherish forever! From the Earth to the Moon, Tom Hanks’ brilliant 12-part love letter to the Apollo missions, is now sickeningly cheap on Amazon.com. If you’ve ever found yourself staring wistfully at the full moon, marvelling, as the honking drivers behind you shout “GREEN LIGHT, MORON”, that our little species could get so far, you owe it to yourself to watch this uplifting, heartbreaking and occasionally hilarious series.  My friends assure me it is officially on the list of Pop-Culture Moments In Which A Grown Man Is Permitted To Cry, right between The Time Traveller’s Wife and the ending of Terminator 2.

We now return to our regularly scheduled discussion topic: donatello from tmnt or the professor from honey i shrunk the kids who is the better mechanic??? Please leave your replies below.

Neil, Buzz, Michael, if any of you choose to celebrate your accomplishment with a quiet night indoors reading an obscure Australian/Canadian comedy page: we salute you.



In The Rubber Chicken’s Burning Question series, we have successfully solved some of life’s greatest mysteries by asking every celebrity or inappropriate party we could find.  What is The Grimace? What do the birds and the bees do? How do you get to Sesame Street? Why does the sun shine? (The answers, in order: 1. Cloned Mutant Beetroot / 2. They Make Toast / 3.  A Global Network of Mario-Style Warp Pipes / 4. It’s Complicated.)

Isn’t it about time we applied this research technique to the Greater Good?  What if, instead of drawing upon pop-culture or lightweight philosophy, we turned to cold, hard science?

In my daily search for risqué Last Starfighter fan fiction, I accidentally stumbled upon an astronomy blog and learned a startling fact:
90% of the universe’s mass remains unaccounted for.

Today, we pitch the following question to our guests:
Where is the universe’s missing mass?

Well, Television’s Michelle Rodriguez?
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When we last left our heroes, their spacecraft was proportionately high on danger and low on mathematical aides.

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The recipe for a good episode of television is a tricky one to define, until by the purest chance, we happened across it on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Season Four DVD. (Guess it had to be somewhere, right?) Now we have experienced the dizzying heights of octogenarian supervillains, environmentally aware turtles and scantily-clad April O’Neils, every other show has been exposed for the hollow sham it really is.

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This episode: the Existential Electrician consults a Rock Lobster regarding a bag of puppies.

Includes the sketches:
The Testicular Cancer Essay Showcase
A Friendly Hostage Scenario
At Home with The Announcer
…and more!

Original Music
Fall (acoustic version) by special guest musicians The Terrordactyls

Episode compiled by Alastair Craig

Directly Download MP3

Subscribe to TRC Podcast to stay up-to-date with new shows.
iTunes / Google Reader / myAOL / My Yahoo / Bloglines.

Purchase your Land of Canoes T-Shirt

Continue reading for episode commentary

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“Panda Three to Control – I’ve just spotted a silver hovercraft
being chased by an old crock at 90mph, and there’s a little tiny helicopter after ‘em both! I’m in pursuit! Over.”

Planet of the Spiders (Part Two)
Written by Robert Sloman & Barry Letts
Starring John Pertwee & Elisabeth Sladen
And introducing Stuart Fell as “Tramp Under Hovercraft”

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Exhibit A:

Seven Samurai and Pokemon The Movie 2000: The Power of One

When I first saw Akira Kurosawa’s quintessential samurai film, I was expecting a masterpiece of cinema; a heart-wrenching epic; something to make me laugh, cry and cheer all at once. What I wasn’t expecting was a shot-for-shot remake of the second animated Pokemon motion picture.

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THE BOXING DAY GAME

To celebrate Boxing Day we’ve designed a fantastic new game for you and your friends to play! It’s called BOX! and here’s how to play:

  1. Get a box. It can be cardboard, plastic, humus or otherwise.
  2. Congratulations! You’ve just won the game!

This game can be played with up to 16 people, even the elderly. So get out there and box someone today!

Also, a shiny new feature!

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Improvement? [Y] [N]

Posted on May 25th, 2005 by Alastair Craig

Cut-out TARDIS scanned and constructed from the Doctor Who 1983 Technical Manual

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