Introducing TRC Podisodes, a companion series of bonus sketches and outtakes.

Featuring

• A sassy stew-pot of unheard Season One material.
• You’re My Fish (the full theme song to Andrey and Gord’s play “Lovestruck: A Romantic Comedy Set in the Horrific World of H.P. Lovecraft”)
• A Startling Revelation of Things to Come.

Compiled by Alastair Craig
Additional editing by Brett “Mister Bung” Cullen

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Go behind the scenes to discover the exact quantity of blood, sweat and tears (amongst other bodily fluids) The Rubber Chicken’s writers will sacrifice to make you say “yeah, that’s kind of funny, I guess”.

Written and performed by
Tim Morrison, Andrey Summers, Brett “Mister Bung” Cullen, Ben K, and Alastair Craig.

Also starring
Fiona Revill
Gord Myren
And introducing Alastair’s Mum and Chad McCanna.

Episode compiled by Alastair Craig

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Purchase your Land of Canoes T-Shirt

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This edition is dedicated to The Other Guy From “Wham!“

Still doing a wonderful job of not being George Michael.

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I like to make life more exciting by exploiting the veritable wealth of hilarious situations that can take place on public transport, and now thanks to this ‘internet’ I learnt about at my last uni class, you can too!

Today’s lesson: Buses.

1) Wait for a near empty bus, preferably with only one other person riding. Get on the bus and stand at the front with a look of intense concentration on your face, as if you can’t decide where to sit. Remeber to brace yourself as the bus takes off (or not if you prefer). Take a seat next to the only other person on the bus, lean in closely and mention conspiritorally ‘He knows.’ Get off at the next stop.

2) As you get on the bus and are about to pay the fare, drop your change. Bend over to pick it up and freeze. Wait a while, then unfreeze. As you walk to your seat, freeze again. Repeat this through out the journey, especially in conversations.

3) Memorize passages from Speed.

• ‘There’s gum on my seat…GUM!’
• ‘Harry, there’s enough C-4 on this thing to put a hole in the world!’
• ‘Jack, nothing tricky now. You know I’m on top of you! DO NOT attempt to grow a brain!’

Get on any bus, and make sure you sit as close to the driver as possible. The seats right behind him work well.

Start reciting the passages gradually getting louder as you get to your stop. Finish with ‘Pop quiz, hotshot. There’s a bomb on a bus. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? ‘ Run.

4) Wait at the bus stop for your bus. As the bus pulls up and opens ask the driver if this bus goes to the Coruscant . When he says no, look at him as though the bus NOT going to Coruscant is the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard. Mention you’ll wait for the next one. If the driver says that no buses go there say ‘that’s what YOU think.’

So next time you have a boring public transport journey, remeber these simple tips to spice things up.

Outraged at the sheer AUDACITY of my mockery of public transport? Why not mail me with a suitable subject line, lest ye electronic mail be deleted post haste!

Related Links:
Crap Comic: Waiting For A Bus
Why Bus Drivers Should Stop Wearing Reindeer Antlers on their Heads
The mX Magazine Letters Page

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ßµñghøliø says:
Hullo you is Janet
Janet are you there?
It is me Hans

SeX@mYpLaCe.CoMe.Ok says:
dis aint janet…
whoz dis??
and whered ya get me addy
??

ßµñghøliø says:
What do you mean? It’s me Hans!
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Because you (literally, one of you) asked for it: a collection of The Rubber Chicken’s early prank calls we’d much rather keep burried. Be warned: these are of low fidelity and even lower comedy value. Our sincerest apologies.

Editor’s Note: If you prefer genuine comedy over having your ears and intelligence savagely defiled, why not try The Rubber Chicken Podcast, our snappy quasi-sci-fi sketch comedy series?
Well?

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This morning I received a late birthday package from an unknown sender. Fearing anthrax, I nervously glanced inside to find the pop-culture equivalent.  Brett Cullen of Perth, Western Australia, you are a wonderful bastard.

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Instant messenger pranks from our carefree youth, immortalised online at the expense of an older, wise Mister Bung’s employment prospects and pride.

This has been laying around for quite some time now on my computer, and has been viewed by many a kinsfolk, all who grew warts the sizes of pumpkins- but I think that was just the water.  But fear not, as any concerns you have can be directed towards myself or this seagull.

Jenifer:
who are you

ßµñghøliø:
I am man who likes goats.
Do you like goats?

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More Funky Chicken Strips

Other comic series on ThatChickenSite.com
Crap Comic – Opstacles

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View more posts filed under Scribbles and Scrawls, Awkward Alliteration, Bungholio (character), Comic, HappyBob (character), Mister Bung Unsettles, The Funky Chicken, The Wonderful World of Animals