In the motion picture film “Shoot ‘Em Up”, Clive Owen:
- Kills not one, but two men with a carrot.
- Has an intimate encounter with Monica Bellucci while shooting bad guys, delivers a satisfactory performance on both fronts, then turns off the light by shooting the switch.
- Literally fires bullets with his bare hands.
- Delivers a baby in the middle of a gunfight and severs the umbilical cord by shooting it.
In conclusion, you should probably see the motion picture film “Shoot ‘Em Up”.
Andrey: Here at whatchickenlist.gov, we are all about the environment. By this I am, of course, suggesting only that at any given moment we are in or near the environment, but I like to think that makes us an authority on the matter. Certainly as much of an authority as an arguably un-elected Presidential Candidate who at one time had no beard, then grew a beard, and then just shaved it off again.
If Al Gore can’t even decide what his own face looks like, how can he reliably perform plastic surgery on the face of our planet? This question is implicitly asked and tacitly answered by our own Alastair Robert Craig in a feature that he did not title The Unofficial Spice Girls Reunion Scrapbook. To find out what he really titled it, you’ll just have to Admit You’re A Spice Girls Fan. Just kidding. You can also Click Here.
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If there’s one thing that can be said about The Rubber Chicken, then I guess logically this sentence is it.
Luckily, that’s not the case. In fact, the things that can be said about this uproarious, delightful little cyber-corner of information-super-whimsy are probably as numerous (if not more-so) as the site’s oddly diverse readership. And I do use the word “oddly” with calculated discretion, because despite the fact that we make jokes all the time about how we have no readers, the fact is that we do have them. We have quite an inventory, honestly.
This is due to the fact that TRC is unusually well-Googled. People type things into search-engines, scan down the list of results and routinely choose our site as the solution to whatever quandary it is that’s driven them to type key-words into a text-box.
Driven by curiosity, boredom and hubris, I decided this month to take a peek at the man behind the curtain (this is a Wizard of Oz metaphor, not me walking in on a guy showering), and leaf through our visitation statistics for April 2007. Herein, I came upon the full list of keywords typed into search-engines like Google that then resulted in people clicking on us.
Below are some of the highlights, and boy do they present a nightmarish cross-section of the kind of people YOU apparently are. Bear in mind, you filthy cadre of rat-like degenerates, that I am not making up these search results for a laugh. This is honestly what you people are looking for when you end up finding us. May God have mercy on you.
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When 1999′s The Matrix was released, it was heralded as the best new science fiction film since Star Wars. Indeed, when compared to the other big film that year, Star Wars Episode I: The Phanton Menace, The Matrix was funky fresh. So when the sequels were announced, many said that it would completely overshadow the original Star Wars Trilogy. The problem is, the Star Wars franchise didn’t get pathetically wretched until a new trilogy began, while The Matrix is already eating out of the toliet with its second movie, The Matrix Reloaded.
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