The Chicken Feed

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In The Rubber Chicken’s Burning Question series, we have successfully solved some of life’s greatest mysteries by asking every celebrity or inappropriate party we could find.  What is The Grimace? What do the birds and the bees do? How do you get to Sesame Street? Why does the sun shine? (The answers, in order: 1. Cloned Mutant Beetroot / 2. They Make Toast / 3.  A Global Network of Mario-Style Warp Pipes / 4. It’s Complicated.)

Isn’t it about time we applied this research technique to the Greater Good?  What if, instead of drawing upon pop-culture or lightweight philosophy, we turned to cold, hard science?

In my daily search for risqué Last Starfighter fan fiction, I accidentally stumbled upon an astronomy blog and learned a startling fact:
90% of the universe’s mass remains unaccounted for.

Today, we pitch the following question to our guests:
Where is the universe’s missing mass?

Well, Television’s Michelle Rodriguez?
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Goodbye Marco

Posted on September 12th, 2008 by Andrey Summers

I don’t know if you’re aware of what the word ‘pedantry’ is, but basically it’s when you force your own high-minded knowledge and life-regulations on other people, such as condescendingly rubbing people’s faces in the meaning of the word ‘pedantry’.

To further illustrate the concept for you before tearing those little training wheels right off, I could perhaps explain that George F. Walker wrote a play once called “Zastrozzi: the Master of Discipline”. I could also elucidate you regarding the play’s staging last summer at Granville Island’s prestigious Waterfront Theatre.

Local Celebrity level Vancouver Actors were in this thing, and the most Locally Celebrated one of them all was named Marco Soriano. He played Zastrozzi – the coveted title role.

I wasn’t in this play. But I did get in there with familiar TRC faces James Simpson and Mike Cope to KILL OFF Marco Soriano, and document the grizzly aftermath.

What you have in front of you is the resultant YouTube’d film – almost 40 minutes in length and almost 4 of those actually amusing.

“Enjoy”.

(Parts 2-4 after the jump)

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CLOVERFIELD WAS A INSIDE JOB!!!!

Posted on February 12th, 2008 by Andrey Summers

Thanks for reading my blog everyone, lets see how long it stays up before the CIA or the FBI step in and shut me down, but I’m gonna tell you right now that what I have to say isn’t a conspiracy theory. It’s the total 100% truth and once you see the proof and you open your eyes you will know that there’s no way for them to deny it.

CLOVERFIELD WAS A INSIDE JOB!

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This episode: a mysterious gunshot in the night, an interview with a real live female, and a library that is not a library …or is it?

Includes the sketches:
The Mystery of the Exploding Butler
Not a Library
The Andrey’s Single & Depressed Show
Splicey Dicey
Abstract Emancipation of the Inner Canoe
…and more!

Episode compiled by Alastair Craig

Directly Download MP3

Subscribe to TRC Podcast to stay up-to-date with new shows.
iTunes / Google Reader / myAOL / My Yahoo / Bloglines.

Purchase you Land of Canoes T-Shirt

Continue reading for episode commentary

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“Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame street?”

……………………-”Sesame Street” theme song. Written by Joe Raposo, Jon Stone & Bruce Hart

Ever since Sesame Street debuted in 1969, this question has haunted us relentlessly. This says a lot for our obsession, because we weren’t born until the 80s. For you see, while the universally beloved children’s show cheerfully asks the question, it never actually divulges the answer.

How do you get Sesame Street?

Today we’re going to find out the only way we know how: by asking every awesome celebrity who will care to listen. Meanwhile, Aussie Ben will try to combine them into a single coherent answer. A recipe for madness, or a salmon cake of bitter disappointment? You be the judge.

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THE BOXING DAY GAME

To celebrate Boxing Day we’ve designed a fantastic new game for you and your friends to play! It’s called BOX! and here’s how to play:

  1. Get a box. It can be cardboard, plastic, humus or otherwise.
  2. Congratulations! You’ve just won the game!

This game can be played with up to 16 people, even the elderly. So get out there and box someone today!

Also, a shiny new feature!

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In the Celebrity Burning Question series, we contact as many celebrities or obscure parties as possible with one of life’s great questions. This edition: what do the birds and the bees really DO?


Ever since Jewel Akens sang “The Birds and the Bees” in the mid-1960s, we’ve all wondered what, exactly, the Birds and the Bees actually did. As the Bees and the Birds are quite clearly two different species, presumably with incompatible size and sexual behaviour, any intimate act would clearly be uncomfortable, if not impossible. No siree, this is a cover for something far more complex. We have vowed to solve this Burning Question the only way possible: by emailing assorted celebrities and entirely inappropriate parties.


Just a few of the experts we contacted:

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Episode 279

A story by Alastair Craig.

I’ve lost my remote control.

And this time, it’s personal.

Episode 279

A story by Ben K.

I went to the kitchen to get a glass of water with a hint of orange juice for my vitamin C at precisely two in the morning, and who should I see but no-one! Conspiracy, or something more?

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Introducing the Celebrity Burning Question series, in which we contact every celebrity who will care to listen with one of life’s great questions. This edition: Just what IS the McDonald’s mascot “Grimace”?

Ben is a man with a mission: to solve one of life’s biggest questions. Namely, “Just what the heck is Grimace from McDonalds?
How, you ask? The only logical way: by emailing as many celebrities, internet personalities and complete strangers as possible. Can the combined expertise of Cousin Oliver, Seinfeld’s “Kramer” and other prominent Earth personalities add up to a conclusive answer to this enigmatic riddle of a conundrum of a puzzle-like problem?

Just a few of the experts we contacted:
Confound it Robin, the batteries are dead!

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