In recent weeks, I’ve had the absolute pleasure of playing a supporting role in The Vine: Donkey Kong Audio Programme. I must insist you have the absolute pleasure of listening to it.
Not into video games? That’s okay, neither are the hosts. Think of it as the legitimate front for crude but classy conversational comedy. It’s a mammoth production, a huge labour of love, and brimming with the warmly familiar, silky-smooth voices of Rubber Chicken alumni.
Be warned: Emmy-winnng hosts Chad and Hyle are not the most tactful gentlemen, and tend to use masturbation jokes as punctuation. You’ll hate yourself for laughing, but oh, you will laugh.
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I’m told the website you’re currently reading has an audio programme too. It’s not ringing any bells, but I’ll look into it.
View more posts filed under Song and Dance, Ben Says Something Frightfully Silly, DKVine, Donkey Kong, EMPLOYERS DO NOT LOOK, Game Boy Advance, GameCube, N64, Nintendo, Podcast, Rare, Rare-Extreme, RareOps, Sexual Intercourse, Shigeru Miyamoto, Side Project, Video Games, Wii, X-Box Three Hundred And Sixty, Xbox
History’s Greatest Procrastinators
(Next week: History’s Greatest Masturbators)
A forward by Alastair “HappyBob” Craig, Editor of TheRubberChickeN64.
- In 1964, Brian Wilson began work on The Beach Boys’ would-be magnum opus: Smile. A direct answer to The Beatles’ Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, this classic album could have changed music history were it not aborted following a series of complications and a nervous breakdown from Wilson himself. The Next Big Thing in rock ‘n’ roll was reduced to a mildly interesting footnote in musical history… until now. In 2004, Brian confronted his demons and recorded the album from scratch, creating a wonderful, timeless masterpiece that was well worth the wait. Finally, his vision was complete.
Throughout the 1990s, writer and comic mastermind Douglas Adams struggled to organise a film adaptation of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. “The Hollywood process,” he once remarked, “is like trying to grill a steak by having a succession of people come into the room and breathe on it”. Sadly, Adams passed away before he could see his pet project become a reality, with the movie showing few signs of progress… until now. In 2005, The Hitchhiker’s Guide finally saw completion in the capable hands of Garth Jennings, who created something arguably worthy of the late Adams’ memory.
- In 2000, Adam “The Phantom Spoon” Severgnini was bored on a bus trip to high school. To pass the time, he penned a review of Rare’s newly released Perfect Dark for TheRubberChickeN64, the newly-launched Nintendo review / silly animation hub we started together. He passed it to me on the assumption that I’d type it up that afternoon. Tragically, I forgot, and his notes sat ignored in the bottom of a box under my bed… until now.
Ladyfolk and gentlebeings, you are about to witness history itself unfolding. We are gathered here today for the WORLD PREMIERE of that famous unfinished masterpiece, five years late, but forever ageless in its beauty:
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View more posts filed under Scribbles and Scrawls, Books, Embarrassingly Old-School, EMPLOYERS DO NOT LOOK, Games, Music, Music Industry, N64, Nintendo, Perfect Dark, Rare, Serious, Topical
“We arent really new. We’ve been kicking like a mutated cow for nearly 3 years now, and I think we’re finally recieving the attention we deserve.”
Ahh, Rare-Extreme. “Sharply written”, “witty” and “reliable” are but a few adjectives one could easily place next to their name with the aid of any functional writing instrument or word processor. The technology is there, and we aren’t in a position to stop you.
Over the years R-E have made contact with many reliable inside sources, promising the secret behind Banjo-Kazooie’s infamous “Stop ‘N’ Swop” feature (but never revealing it), confirming Perfect Dark 2′s appearance at E3 2002 (which never showed it), and even scoring a tour of Rare HQ. Yes, they’ve done it all. We at The Rubber Chicken might have had occasional creative differences with Rare-Extreme, but it doesn’t mean we don’t respect them as fellow journalists. Sometimes a gentleman must swallow his pride and give credit to his enemies. In the following exposé, we hope to establish their credibility once and for all.
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View more posts filed under Letters and Words, Banjo-Kazooie, Controversy, Donkey Kong, False Rumo(u)rmongering, Fanboy Baiting, Game Boy Advance, Games, Journalism, Media Hoax, Mr Pants, N64, Nintendo, Prank, Rare, Rare-Extreme, Tomfoolery, Xbox
We all love videogame developer Rare, right? Hey, yeah, man!
And we all love animals, eh? Can I get an amen? Whoo, brother!
So earlier this week I said to myself:
“Chad, you know, you really should get some hot redhead to go down on you.”
“Agreed, Chad,” I replied. “But how should we attract her mouth to the crotch region?”
“Simple, my friend!” said I. “You need to make photorealistic pictures depicting various scenes from Rare games!”
Of course! It’s all so obvious! I’ll make a picture of a gorilla riding a frog, and the females will flock to my member! So without further ado, I give you… Real Rare!
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View more posts filed under Scribbles and Scrawls, Banjo-Kazooie, Donkey Kong, Furry Fun, Games, N64, Nintendo, Photoshop, Rare, SNES, The Wonderful World of Animals
Visual treats from The Rubber Chicken’s ill-advised fake site replacement for April Fools’ Day 2002.
Thanks to all who contributed. You know who you are.
JOANA DARK IZ KEWL
“this is my best drawing ever! I made it of Joanna, from PErfect Dark, the greatest game ever from rare. this is the first time I’ve drawn her with clothes, tho.”
- jim treevault.
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View more posts filed under Scribbles and Scrawls, Adorable Kittens, Art, Conker, Console War, Fake Site, Fan Fiction, Home Alone, Jar Jar Binks, Lee Thomas, Mittens The Cat, N64, Nintendo, Nudity, Parody, Perfect Dark, Pokemon, Rare, Star Wars, Xbox
The gaming webcomic (illustrated by Dan Dimov and penned by Rubber Chicken writers) rescued from the dearly departed RareOps.com.
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View more posts filed under Scribbles and Scrawls, Andrey (character), Big Explosion, Comic, DKVine, GameCube, Games, Goats, HappyBob (character), Hosted, N64, Nintendo, Opstacles, Rare, Rare-Extreme, RareOps, Satan, Sexual Intercourse, Star Fox Adventures, Topical, Xbox, Zelda
Posted on December 1st, 2000 by
HMB
The Rubber Chicken began life as a Nintendo review website with silly animations. As a service to curious Google searchers, we have kept the best-written reviews of selected obscurer games in the archive.
If this isn’t what you’re after: hey, turns out we’re a comedy website now.
A review by Hu Man Bing
The World is Not Enough, self-confessedly abbreviated to TWINE, is the Eurocom follow up to the N64 FPS legend, Goldeneye. Now freely available to both US and UK players, N64 owners everywhere have their chance to once again be Bond, in three dimensions.
A similar question hangs over this title as did over Perfect Dark, released circa half a year in advance – how does it compare with Goldeneye? Many even showed their early scepticism of the title by phrasing the question “Will it be any good?”
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That other site’s random fact box said you look like a dork.
