Alastair: Once more, TRC alumn and newly baptised podcast initiate Chad McCanna was kind enough to travel back in time to a 2004 poetry night to help pad out this slow, rhyme-deprived month. Ta, love.
Jar Jar is red like a sheet,
He’s the nicest Gungan you’ll ever meet,
Jar Jar, Jar Jar, you’re so great
Fortnightly you should exfoliate.
When you want a mighty warrior, look not for a Jedi man,
For you’ll find no greater fighter than the noble Gungan clan.
Almighty Jar Jar Binks was the greatest of them all,
As he charged with the Jedi into battle, he stood up straight and tall.
So when you think of pride, remember true that day,
Of the mighty fighting that is the strong, proud Jar Jar way.
This silent unsung hero, remembered by a select few
Had the brains, the courage, to do what none else could do.
I wish I had a tongue as long as Jar Jar Binks,
For with it I could do all sorts of clever things.
I could eat in the McDonalds drive through
I could eat while in the grass
But best of all I could even lick my
Ice cream cone.
Jar Jar Binks is really sweet,
I’d like to meet him on the street.
If I did I’d shake his hand
And tell him I’m a fan so grand.
Everybody picks on Jar Jar, but he’s my special friend
We’ve got a special friendship that will never end.
He tells me that I look the best
In my lovely white buckled vest.
He likes how meals come three times a day
Nice and neat on a silver tray.
And what he likes the best of all
Are my lovely soft white padded walls.
Art by Vulcan_Wookie37
Watch poem #2 read aloud at an open microphone night.
Marvel as we trick the world’s media with a fake Star Wars casting rumour.
Explore some of The Rubber Chicken’s best work from the past decade. (It’s even better than this.)
Or sample our sketch comedy radio series.