If there’s one thing that can be said about The Rubber Chicken, then I guess logically this sentence is it.
Luckily, that’s not the case. In fact, the things that can be said about this uproarious, delightful little cyber-corner of information-super-whimsy are probably as numerous (if not more-so) as the site’s oddly diverse readership. And I do use the word “oddly” with calculated discretion, because despite the fact that we make jokes all the time about how we have no readers, the fact is that we do have them. We have quite an inventory, honestly.
This is due to the fact that TRC is unusually well-Googled. People type things into search-engines, scan down the list of results and routinely choose our site as the solution to whatever quandary it is that’s driven them to type key-words into a text-box.
Driven by curiosity, boredom and hubris, I decided this month to take a peek at the man behind the curtain (this is a Wizard of Oz metaphor, not me walking in on a guy showering), and leaf through our visitation statistics for April 2007. Herein, I came upon the full list of keywords typed into search-engines like Google that then resulted in people clicking on us.
Below are some of the highlights, and boy do they present a nightmarish cross-section of the kind of people YOU apparently are. Bear in mind, you filthy cadre of rat-like degenerates, that I am not making up these search results for a laugh. This is honestly what you people are looking for when you end up finding us. May God have mercy on you.
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Alastair: In 2004, legal issues brought Paris Hilton’s potential hit song “Screwed” to a halt. It seems fellow aspiring teen idol Haylie “Sister Of Hillary” Duff had already recorded the song the year before, and therefore owned the rights to the performance.
While we cynics can be thankful, please spare a thought for those legitimately interested in hearing Hilton’s vocal talents. It is for their benefit that we arranged this compromise – a faithful cover of the song from our own, equally talented musician, Glancy.
Paris Hilton – Screwed.MP3
“My cowriter Kara and I had never imagined that our little pop song could sound so… well….. unique!
Definitely a braver rendering than any pop diva could give. Bravo, Glancy.”
-Greg Wells, Grammy-nominated writer/producer and co-writer of “Screwed”, TRC Mailbag
Terms & Conditions
- The Rubber Chicken will not accept responsibility for readers accidentally circulating this MP3 on file-sharing networks, where it might accidentally be mistaken for the real song. Though we wholeheartedly encourage it. Not sure why we were trying to be subtle with those italics there.
- The Rubber Chicken does not condone, under any circumstances, actually listening to the above MP3. Not even kidding here.
For entertainment easier on the ears, check out The Rubber Chicken’s Excellent Podcast.
View more posts filed under Song and Dance, Amateurish Pre-Podcast Audio Work, Embarrassingly Old-School, FIGHT THE POWER!, Greg Wells, Music, Music Industry, Paris Hilton, Song, The Hamburg Tapes, Tomfoolery, We're Really Very Sorry