The Chicken Feed

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Remember the episode of the original (western) Power Rangers series where Tommy Oliver, the Green Ranger, lost his powers? Remember how devastated we all were? (And those of you who were too old/sensible to enjoy MMPR in 1995 were no doubt devastated in spirit, even if you thought you were happy at the time.) Remember how mundane the show seemed with only the original five Rangers again? Remember the exciement when Zordon introduced them to the brand new White Ranger and he took his mask off and Kimberly fainted and it turned out to be Tommy? Of course you do. Now, pretend our updates are the Green Ranger. Pretend Lord Zedd has stolen their powers… but only temporarily.

Though it would be downright pretentious to seriously compare our little updates to the excellence of Tommy Oliver, this serves as an apt comparison for the next few weeks. While those of us who regularly update will be busy with end-of-semester study for a couple of weeks, you need not faint, dear Metaphorical Kimberlies – soon we’ll be back, better than ever, and with a baffling talking dagger thing and armour that isn’t quite as cool without the original gold chestplate.

Luckily, Nick Sedillos of Swizzlestuck has zoomed to the rescue (or should I say… Power Rangers: Lightspeed Rescue? No.) with his own audio book version of the critically acknowledged Ultimate FanFiction Central Star Wars story Darth Maul’s Revenge. Nick has done an amazing job at capturing the essence of the story in a whole new medium, complete with incidental music.

Darth Maul’s Revenge – Chapter 1
(5mb MP3 Download)

Darth Maul’s Revenge – Chapter 2
(5.3mb MP3 Download)

(And be sure to thank Mr. Sedillos for his effort by checking out his comics!)

In Loving Memory of Pope John Paul II

Posted on April 23rd, 2005 by Mister Bung

With the upturned toadstool, the nervous wristwatch exploded with the volume of a small teacup. For it was questioning its own sexuality, when in fact it was enjoying a nice cup of existensialism.  At which point, to Sir Lancelot’s dismay, his pants exploded. The evil turnip’s machinations crumbled to dust and cute little fairy sprinkles around him. It was time to start anew. With radishes.

Now, hop up on Uncle Harold’s lap, won’t you, Billy?  I’ve a tale to tell.

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Insecks & Urachnids

Posted on August 13th, 2003 by Chad McCanna

The following are actual papers written about insects and arachnids by a Year 7 Life Science class. They had two full class periods to work on these, and sadly, the results follow in their unabridged, pitiful reality. All the grammatical mistakes and misspellings are preserved for your enjoyment. To give you an indication of the general intelligence level of these children, the teacher told them that their titles should be catchy or creative. Well, one of these little scamps called their paper “Be Catchy or Creative!” My god.

Just a forewarning before you dive in: if you plan on reading all of these at once, please PLEASE be drunk first.

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