The Chicken Feed

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Amazonian Ethel

Posted on December 1st, 2005 by Alastair Craig

Reader Reviews from TRC’s Resident Puritan Nutcase

We’re sorry – we really don’t know how it happened, but what’s done is done and there’s no use making excuses. Somebody has introduced our favourite fictitious fundimentalist critic, Ethel Roberts, to Amazon.com.

Yes, Ethel Roberts. Crusader for the good and champion of the pure. She emerges now, shielded with self-righteousness and sething with strongly worded paragraphs, here to let the world at large now how she feels about not only this, but also that. Especially that.

Come with her now as she snaps on the rubber gloves and runs a finger around the inside of Amazon.com’s Reader Reviews section.

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Alastair: When I announce, as I often do, that I have met the Andrey Summers, the usual reaction is disbelief. “Surely not the distinguished actor who graduated from the University of East Anglia to land a supporting role in the Indiana Jones films, later playing the fat professor in the first two seasons of Sliders, and recently starring as Gimli and Treebeard in the blockbuster Lord of the Rings trilogy?” my audience would ask, to which I’d reply “no, that’s John Rhys-Davies.”

Hair? Eyes? Distinguishing facial features? I can confirm that Andrey does, in fact, have all of these. But the most distinguishing feature on Andrey’s face would have to have been that large piece of broccoli stuck between his teeth. I probably should have told him about that before I left. (Joke © Aussie Ben, 2004)

What follows is our long-awaited account of that fruity and fruitful meeting between myself and Andrey, and vice versa. And only nine months after the fact – honestly, we spoil you.

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