What terrifies a university student above all else? If you answered “exams”, “tuition fees” or “an uncertain future”, I can only ask what you thought to gain in giving sincere, vocal replies to a clearly tongue-in-cheek rhetorical question from a writer who clearly can’t hear you. The misleadingly introduced answer is, of course, “student elections”.
The concept of a student union is all well and good, but it’s hard to appreciate the big picture when you’re getting pamphlets shoved in your face at every turn. Both competing parties subscribe to the same mind-numbing bombardment techniques that have worked so well in the past (see: internet advertising). Where they’re trying to encourage voters, this assault on the senses only serves to drive them away.
To make our thoughts known, we launched our own flyer campaign targeted exclusively at flyer distributors themselves.
Here it is: The Rubber Chicken’s single greatest accomplishment. A small prank that should have died within minutes, but instead became something far more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
You have no idea how painful it’s been to keep something this big hidden for four months. And not just emotionally – it took six experienced surgeons to remove the damn thing. However, I believe the results are well worth the time, effort, crippling medical expenses and the knowledge that I can never professionally dance the tango again.
“We arent really new. We’ve been kicking like a mutated cow for nearly 3 years now, and I think we’re finally recieving the attention we deserve.”
Ahh, Rare-Extreme. “Sharply written”, “witty” and “reliable” are but a few adjectives one could easily place next to their name with the aid of any functional writing instrument or word processor. The technology is there, and we aren’t in a position to stop you.
Over the years R-E have made contact with many reliable inside sources, promising the secret behind Banjo-Kazooie’s infamous “Stop ‘N’ Swop” feature (but never revealing it), confirming Perfect Dark 2′s appearance at E3 2002 (which never showed it), and even scoring a tour of Rare HQ. Yes, they’ve done it all. We at The Rubber Chicken might have had occasional creative differences with Rare-Extreme, but it doesn’t mean we don’t respect them as fellow journalists. Sometimes a gentleman must swallow his pride and give credit to his enemies. In the following exposé, we hope to establish their credibility once and for all.
Nor, when I encouraged Rubber Chicken readers to advertise the link on Harry Potter message boards, did I expect any hate mail.
The below email is one of literally hundreds sent to Ethel Roberts, the manifesto’s fictitious author.
Let’s hope we can sort out this little misunderstanding peacefully and professionally.
Special thanks go to the Forumites for their suggestions and feedback all the way through. You all rock harder than a particularly rocky rock with a penchant for rock music and a strong mind to purchase “The Scorpian King” on DVD some day, maybe, if it’s on the cheap.
Because you (literally, one of you) asked for it: a collection of The Rubber Chicken’s early prank calls we’d much rather keep burried. Be warned: these are of low fidelity and even lower comedy value. Our sincerest apologies.
Editor’s Note: If you prefer genuine comedy over having your ears and intelligence savagely defiled, why not try The Rubber Chicken Podcast, our snappy quasi-sci-fi sketch comedy series?
Highlights from The Rubber Chicken’s Stolen Image Trickery series, in which we exact mild revenge on bloggers remotely hotlinking our pictures, with allegedly hilarious results.
A quick educational brief on the Magical World of Bandwidth! When I pay the US$60 per year required to host The Rubber Chicken, those expenses cover a certain amount of downloads from the page per month. When somebody posts an image from our webspace on another site or forum, that person is effectively stealing. Enter karma: it also means we have complete power over what appears on their side. We’ve tracked down two such offenders, thieving bandwidth like the filthy bandwidth thieves they are.
Well, I’m a college-type person now, living the college life. So you know what that means… DORM ROOM PRANKS!!! Ahem. This first one came to me as I walked down the hall to lunch one day and saw that a girl had posted a desparate lovenote on one of my neighbor’s doors. I had to join the fun, you know.
Instant messenger pranks from our carefree youth, immortalised online at the expense of an older, wise Mister Bung’s employment prospects and pride.
This has been laying around for quite some time now on my computer, and has been viewed by many a kinsfolk, all who grew warts the sizes of pumpkins- but I think that was just the water. But fear not, as any concerns you have can be directed towards myself or this seagull.
who are you
I am man who likes goats.
Do you like goats?
The classic Ninja Turtles series as it was meant to be seen.
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Did You Know?
Several synchronised swimmers have written in to complain that, contrary to this site’s exposé on the matter, they “don’t just smile”. For the record, The Rubber Chicken does not consider syncrhonised swimming a shallow or talentless sport. Or, indeed, a sport at all.