The Chicken Feed

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Dogs of Console War

Posted on November 25th, 2006 by Andrey Summers

As usually happens when HappyBob nips out to take the air, the website falls into what one might politely call a slumber. This time, however, having tasted the exhilirating zest of podcasting, Ben and I find ourselves feeling guilty.

Guilty, if you’ll believe it, about neglecting YOU. Yes, you, sole remaining reader/listener.

With this in mind, we’ve returned to the archaic medium of the written word, in order to do epic battle over which console is the spunkiest: PS3, or Nintendo Wii.

Oh you’d best be ready, son. You’d best be ready.

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This episode: an exploding garden shed, robot poetry and an EXCLUSIVE interview with one of the Mooon People!

Includes the sketches:
The Stephen Hawking Impersonation Hour
Easy as Pie
The Land of Canoe Blues
…and more!

Compiled by Tim Morrison and Alastair Craig

Directly Download MP3

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Purchase a Land of Canoes T-Shirt

Continue reading for episode commentary

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You may have noticed that Something Awf The Rubber Chicken’s poll has been closed down for nearly eight billion years, displaying the mysterious message “closed while we search for a poll service that hasn’t whored itself to pop-up adver-

Okay, the message is way too long, and is a lie anyway so I’m not going to bother trying to remember the rest of it. Instead, here’s the dirty and somewhat obvious truth: nobody’s been searching for anything. In fact, the “administration” here (hahahahahahahahahahaha) has gladly forgotten all about its extinct poll the same way they cried their crocodile tears about September 11th, and then partnered with Halliburton during the privatization of Iraq. You’re probably wondering where Chad is. Well, he’s in an oil derrick outside Fellujah (Microsoft Word Dictionary: “Elijah?”).

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A recap of the Arctic White Campaign, The Rubber Chicken’s month-long crusade to rig a breakfast cereal election.

As you are no doubt aware, the Australian division of Kellogg’s Cereal let us, Froot Loop eating public, choose the new colour to join the green, orange, red and yellow we all know and love. Always the equal opportunity campaigners, we began a movement to elect the least likely candidate: Arctic White.  For every day of the last month, The Rubber Chicken’s readers and writers have been casting multiple votes for this wonderfully mundane colour hundreds of times over.

Sadly, but not surprisingly, Kellogg’s couldn’t handle the results.  Today, the false glory is heaped upon Sky Blue.

With this outright robbery of our democratic rights, our dreams are shattered.  Shattered like glass. Glass under an elephant’s foot. The foot of the elephant of manipulative multinational cereal companies. An elephant which has eaten peanuts. The peanuts of rigged election results. Grown in a peanut farm of LIES!

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Movie Review: The Matrix Reloaded

Posted on October 17th, 2003 by Hyle Russell

When 1999′s The Matrix was released, it was heralded as the best new science fiction film since Star Wars. Indeed, when compared to the other big film that year, Star Wars Episode I: The Phanton Menace, The Matrix was funky fresh. So when the sequels were announced, many said that it would completely overshadow the original Star Wars Trilogy. The problem is, the Star Wars franchise didn’t get pathetically wretched until a new trilogy began, while The Matrix is already eating out of the toliet with its second movie, The Matrix Reloaded.

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