The Chicken Feed

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Firstly, it’s high time I acknowledged our Star Wars fan readership:
Hello.

If any Rubber Chicken readers…
Actually, if I may digress for a moment (ignoring that this update is essentially one embarassingly large digression – but I digress) we really need a proper name for Rubber Chicken fans. “Achickenados” has a certain awkward charm. If you have any better suggestions, please get in touch.
Now if I’d kindly stop interrupting…

If any of you tentatively-titled achickenados live in Brisbane, Australia, you can find me queuing up for Star Wars Episode III – Revenge of the Sith at the Queen Street Mall Regent Cinemas from late tomorrow afternoon until midnight. I’ll be the bloodied corpse in the gutter, bludgeoned to death by plastic lightsabres, wearing the traditional home-made “Jar Jar Binks Sombrero” costume.

It’s been lovely knowing you all.



Here it is: The Rubber Chicken’s single greatest accomplishment. A small prank that should have died within minutes, but instead became something far more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

You have no idea how painful it’s been to keep something this big hidden for four months. And not just emotionally – it took six experienced surgeons to remove the damn thing. However, I believe the results are well worth the time, effort, crippling medical expenses and the knowledge that I can never professionally dance the tango again.

John Rhys-Davies in Star Wars: Episode III

A Rubber Chicken Media Hoax

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Guest review by Andrew Sumner.
WARNING: contains more spoilers than a garage of riced-out pimp-rockets.

I have a friend named Dan who works at the Rialto Cineplex in downtown White Rock. Frequently, the entire theatre (all 24 screens, no less) is leased out by corporations who want to cordon it off for some kind of function, or other. Last Friday, I got a frantic call from him saying that I should get down there right away, and that I would not regret it. Little did I know that Dan would be sneaking me into a private showing of Star Wars 3!!!


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The exclusive leaked script for George Lucas’s upcoming 2005 return to his student film roots.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….


STAR WARS

EPISODE III
A VERY BIG EXPLOSION

After three years of combat, the treacherous CLONE WARS have finally come to an end. Anakin Skywalker, young padawan of General Obi-Wan Kenobi, has slain the villainous Count Dooku and become a full-fledged Jedi Knight. During the height of combat, Anakin managed to impregnate his wife Padme Amidala through a BROKEN CONDOM. On the cusp of childbirth, C-3P0 and Senator Jar Jar Binks have rushed the bride of Skywalker to Coruscant General Hospital where she’s nearing the end of her exhaustive labor….

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