As ancient terrors from the deep infiltrate sleepy suburbia, Stephen Hawking and Satan debate Bewitched casting. Hardcore Holmes makes the ultimate edgy sacrifice, the inventor of the Time Phone wages an awkward war against himself, and legendary impaler Vlad Tepes takes on his biggest enemy yet: Zoning Bylaws.
Meanwhile, in the writers’ room, the creators of a sketch-comedy podcast embark on a sprawling metafictional odyssey equal parts hilarious, confusing and TERRIFYINGLY APOCALYPTIC.
Big Explosions! Brain-Sucking Monsters! Car Chases! Wailing Guitars! Taxidermy! Awkward, Potentially Homoerotic Domestic Situations! A Ham Sandwich! All this and oh-so-much more in this massive, charmingly convoluted labour of love, two comically on-and-off years in the making.
A world-weary noir detective and a dark ‘n’ gritty reimagining of Sherlock Holmes investigate the brutal death of a beloved TRC cast member in this epic murder mystery / romantic comedy / time travel adventure.
Written by Andrey Summers, Alastair Craig and Tim Morrison.
Additional scenes by Ben K. and Chad McCanna.
“Original” Music Tomorrow performed by Fiona “I Don’t Really Sing Like This” Revill Rock Mobster (It’s Funny, You See, Because…) composed under academic duress by Alastair Craig. Zombie Girl appears courtesy of The Terrordactyls
Tonight on The James & Andrey Improvise Things Show: Michael Carmichael, CEO of Carmichael Canned Goods, defends his controversial decision to market processed vegetables to the eternally damned by opening a portal into Hell.
Revised Edition Now with a tantalising trailer of terrifying events to come!
Compiled by Andrey Summers
Additional material and editing by Alastair Craig
In this comeback special, The Rubber Chicken daringly takes on the world’s easiest target: FM radio.
Includes the sketches:
The Secret Sound
Arnold P. Gizzardnaut
Fear 91.1 FM
Nickelback to Nickelback
The Last Day
Stephen Hawking & Satan Discuss Comic Timing
Roadkill with Billy-Bob
Original Music The I Feel Pretty Good Blues recorded by the Red Square Collective. Lyrics by Andrey Summers. Music and performance by Gord Myren.
The Turtle Song improvised by Chris Shadforth. Music by Alastair Craig.
Episode compiled by Alastair Craig and Tim Morrison
The story I’m trying to tell you if you’d just shut up and listen to me happened when I was riding my chopper down the I5 and got flagged over by a filthy degenerate who needed help jump-starting his junked out crack-van. I told him buddy, listen, this is a god-damned motorbike, but he said all he really needed to get on the road was some hot, casual intercourse. I said hell no, I’m not some kind of queer, so not until I see a passport, birth certificate or other form of legit identification. He, of course, was unable to produce such a document, so again I was left a virgin, weeping to myself on the roadside. How long, I wondered, until I would finally cast away these bitter shackles, forget these dark blizzards that struck every night of my hated innocence?
The latest bombshell in the alarming trend of inventing alarming trends and complaining about them, then updating about them with a self-referential joke about the alarming trend of inventing alarming trends, is here. And by “here”, I mean the link after this paragraph, which as I type is rendering the word “here” increasingly irrelevant by drawing the link in question away from the close-to-immediate proximity “here” suggests.
A guest essay by Ethel J. Roberts, Author & Critic.
I recently paid a visit to my local shopping centre to confront my local supermarket about the price of a recently-purchased jar of rhubarb, and was sick and disgusted at what I found. Hundreds of children, all lining up like lemmings for the new instalment of The Adventures of Harry Potter: Boy Wizard. This controversial book series has been boycotted by tens of millions of readers worldwide for its promotion of witchcraft. Despite the overwhelming pressure on bookstores and libraries to ban the series, the authorities continue to sit by idly while our youth are secretly corrupted and brainwashed with blatantly pagan and un-Christian ideals.
The classic Ninja Turtles series as it was meant to be seen.
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Did You Know?
Alastair named this website’s chicken mascot “Alfred” as a combined homage to Mad Magazine’s Alfred E. Neuman and a throwaway joke by former Next Publishing writer Arthur Adam involving a gerbil. Only later did he learn there was already a game called “Alfred Chicken”. Please don’t sue.