In recent weeks, I’ve had the absolute pleasure of playing a supporting role in The Vine: Donkey Kong Audio Programme. I must insist you have the absolute pleasure of listening to it.
Not into video games? That’s okay, neither are the hosts. Think of it as the legitimate front for crude but classy conversational comedy. It’s a mammoth production, a huge labour of love, and brimming with the warmly familiar, silky-smooth voices of Rubber Chicken alumni.
Be warned: Emmy-winnng hosts Chad and Hyle are not the most tactful gentlemen, and tend to use masturbation jokes as punctuation. You’ll hate yourself for laughing, but oh, you will laugh.
Perhaps for the first time ever in the history of this flea-bitten enterprise, we hit you with a one-two punch of Actual Content. A project, if you will, that ended on a To Be Continued…and was then actually continued. The very next day, no less.
I know, I know – tis a sign of the End Times to be sure. But as the comet passes overhead and we all slip into our tasteful scuba gear in preparation for the great tidal wave, spare a thought for part 2 of Movie Adventure – the thrilling, action-packed conclusion to a film that lowers expectations, and then exceeds them with average performance.
Once and again, we men of the Chicken Frontier like to engage in projects that deviate from the standard Celebrity-Hassling and Inside-Joke-Peddling on which the mighty monolith you gaze upon right now stands built.
With this in mind, several billion years ago I, Dr. Andrey Summers stD, exuded a short script entitled “Movie Adventure”. Blood, sweat, toil, and inconvenient scheduling ensued, but inevitably resulted in a product that I am actually kind of fond of, if I do say so myself.
And I’m not sure, but I think I do. Or did. At some point. IN ANY CASE! Below lie the tedious, serpentine cliches of MOVIE ADVENTURE! PART ONE! It has, of course, been warped from its original wide-screen nature by some foul trick of idiot compression…but haven’t we all, in our youth? Hark:
I don’t know if you’re aware of what the word ‘pedantry’ is, but basically it’s when you force your own high-minded knowledge and life-regulations on other people, such as condescendingly rubbing people’s faces in the meaning of the word ‘pedantry’.
To further illustrate the concept for you before tearing those little training wheels right off, I could perhaps explain that George F. Walker wrote a play once called “Zastrozzi: the Master of Discipline”. I could also elucidate you regarding the play’s staging last summer at Granville Island’s prestigious Waterfront Theatre.
Local Celebrity level Vancouver Actors were in this thing, and the most Locally Celebrated one of them all was named Marco Soriano. He played Zastrozzi – the coveted title role.
I wasn’t in this play. But I did get in there with familiar TRC faces James Simpson and Mike Cope to KILL OFF Marco Soriano, and document the grizzly aftermath.
What you have in front of you is the resultant YouTube’d film – almost 40 minutes in length and almost 4 of those actually amusing.
Episode two of Andrey and Gord’s vampiric comedy series for Black Yak Productions The Vampire goes on a blind date with a goth gal, in an effort to secure a regular blood-donor.
Introducing Andrey and Gord’s new short film series for Black Yak Productions. A Vampire is sent to a government office to register his new “lifestyle” with the authorities.
Andrey: In a renewed effort to not update with anything relevant ever, I am now posting an item of parody created by myself and fellow idiots James Simpson and Dan Tiedeman. One merry summers’ day, we got it into our heads to film a 5-minute parody of the mediocre Bill Paxton thriller ‘A Simple Plan’.
Needless to say we in fact did. So, without further ado, please find enclosed a little number we like to call A Facile Scenario:
The classic Ninja Turtles series as it was meant to be seen.
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Did You Know?
When he was four, Andrey slipped and fell on the stairs in his Dacha, at which point a Soviet-made toy he was carrying cut his lip wide open, and the stairs smashed his front teeth in. Yes, any set of stairs can potentially smash your teeth in, but only a Soviet children’s toy will cut you wide open.
In recent weeks, I’ve had the absolute pleasure of playing a supporting role in The Vine: Donkey Kong Audio Programme. I must insist you have the absolute pleasure of listening to it.
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When he was four, Andrey slipped and fell on the stairs in his Dacha, at which point a Soviet-made toy he was carrying cut his lip wide open, and the stairs smashed his front teeth in. Yes, any set of stairs can potentially smash your teeth in, but only a Soviet children’s toy will cut you wide open.
