The Chicken Feed

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Not an insane lunatic. Just misunderstood.

Posted on October 26th, 2005 by Ben K

Weeks later, Paradigm took to the drink and would often be found sobbing in his own urine.



Mailbag: Highly Adjective Noun

Posted on September 18th, 2005 by Mister Bung

This edition is dedicated to The Other Guy From “Wham!


Still doing a wonderful job of not being George Michael.

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A Formal Apology on behalf of Aussie Ben to Uri Geller and the cast of “Bikini Party Summer”:
The internet needed more Irma.



Who.... could it be?  Believe it or not, it's just meeeee...

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that NOBODY ON EARTH remembers who the hell the Street Sharks were. For that, the world is a greater place. But, in order to create a bit of chaos, I’m going to torture inform you about this brilliant, yet extremely short-lived franchise. Let me warn you right now that this one’s going to be very picture heavy, as it covers the three-part pilot, and I’m already going to have to split the first episode into two parts. But oh my, it’ll be worth it.

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Get Carter: TMNT Season 10, Continued

Posted on September 5th, 2004 by Ben K

Part two of Get Carter, Ben’s expose on the little-seen tenth season of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles series.

Thought you’d seen the last of Season Ten and its horrible gaping plot holes, continuity errors and general rape of the series? It’s not over yet! And no, there’s still no sign of Shredder OR Krang. Here’s a pearl of Krang wisdom to tide you over.

“Next time I want to take over the world, I’m teaming up with an accountant.”

It’s like a shot of Morphine, isn’t it?

Back at Dregg’s spaceship, hillariously titled ‘The Dreggnought’, we see Dregg explaining his latest evil plot to Mung – although, let’s face it, he’s really explaining it to the audience that hasn’t already left. First off, Dregg quickly covers up that his last plan was a failure with this brilliant adlib:

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A terrifying look at the obscure tenth season of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon.

Why do turtles / suddenly appear / every time...

Today we’re going to check out the first two episodes of the mysterious Season Ten of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Not the “modernized” version with the ludicrously long headbands, no pupils and stupid comic book wipes – I’m talking about the original series here, with the ever-burbling Krang, Bebop and Rocksteady, and Irma, Irma, IRMA.

Except of course, being Season Ten, the last season of TMNT, the whole series had undergone drastic changes by this time and none of those characters are in the show. “What about Shredder?” I hear you cry? Well, despite the butchered version of the theme song (wait for the falsetto!) insisting that the “evil Shredder attacks”, you can forget it.

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Introducing the Celebrity Burning Question series, in which we contact every celebrity who will care to listen with one of life’s great questions. This edition: Just what IS the McDonald’s mascot “Grimace”?

Ben is a man with a mission: to solve one of life’s biggest questions. Namely, “Just what the heck is Grimace from McDonalds?
How, you ask? The only logical way: by emailing as many celebrities, internet personalities and complete strangers as possible. Can the combined expertise of Cousin Oliver, Seinfeld’s “Kramer” and other prominent Earth personalities add up to a conclusive answer to this enigmatic riddle of a conundrum of a puzzle-like problem?

Just a few of the experts we contacted:
Confound it Robin, the batteries are dead!

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