"I laughed so hard I vomited up my lungs and my intestines prolapsed through my rectum. I was rushed to the hospital where the ER's best efforts proved futile and I passed on at 2:37am this morning." -Testimonial
We at The Rubber Chicken have long considered the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon a few edits and a laugh track away from being the perfect sitcom. Even the voice actors openly recognise villains Krang and Shredder as the classic bickering married couple. Now if only somebody would get rid of those pesky turtles, we could finally enjoy TMNT as the romantic adventure-comedy it was clearly destined to be.
In light of recent news, let us set aside our silly podcasts and Ninja Turtle appraisal and take a moment to celebrate the human spirit. Let’s not delude ourselves with nihilistic doomsday predictions, humanity: we are pretty darn-tootin’ great.
And for only $10.99, this greatness can be yours to cherish forever! From the Earth to the Moon, Tom Hanks’ brilliant 12-part love letter to the Apollo missions, is now sickeningly cheap on Amazon.com. If you’ve ever found yourself staring wistfully at the full moon, marvelling, as the honking drivers behind you shout “GREEN LIGHT, MORON”, that our little species could get so far, you owe it to yourself to watch this uplifting, heartbreaking and occasionally hilarious series. My friends assure me it is officially on the list of Pop-Culture Moments In Which A Grown Man Is Permitted To Cry, right between The Time Traveller’s Wife and the ending of Terminator 2.
We now return to our regularly scheduled discussion topic: donatello from tmnt or the professor from honey i shrunk the kids who is the better mechanic???Please leave your replies below.
Neil, Buzz, Michael, if any of you choose to celebrate your accomplishment with a quiet night indoors reading an obscure Australian/Canadian comedy page: we salute you.
The recipe for a good episode of television is a tricky one to define, until by the purest chance, we happened across it on the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Season Four DVD. (Guess it had to be somewhere, right?) Now we have experienced the dizzying heights of octogenarian supervillains, environmentally aware turtles and scantily-clad April O’Neils, every other show has been exposed for the hollow sham it really is.
The sun. Giver of life. Melter of ice creams. An all-around top-notch ball of incandescent gas. Yet behind that orb of brightness dwells a past of darkness. Of all the alleged scientific “facts”, none satisfactorily explain its motivation. Neither you nor I would choose to burn hundreds of millions of tonnes of hydrogen each second without a good reason. Why would the average star bother?
Why, in the name of Mighty Odin, does the sun shine?
To uncover the truth, we turned to the only power greater than our mighty solar benefactor: celebrities.
Alastair: To appease you, the hungry masses, between episodes of Our Excellent Podcast, we asked Emmy-winning filmmaker Chad McCanna if we might kindly raid the vaults for this gem. He politely nodded.
Oftentimes, we wonder: what aren’t they showing us on the television? When we see American troops marching triumphantly through some deserted part of Iraq that isn’t actually of strategic importance, where is the TRUTH being hidden?
No doubt you often think along the same lines when considering the 1990′s Ninja Turtles cartoon.
The classic Ninja Turtles series as it was meant to be seen.
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Did You Know?
Pluto was downgraded from planet to dwarf. To keep up with the times, Disney will be downgrading their character Pluto from dog to spider-monkey. The only thing delaying the move is some executives’ fears that this might actually be an upgrade.