“Panda Three to Control – I’ve just spotted a silver hovercraft
Planet of the Spiders (Part Two)
Dear Formless Underlord,
My friend who happens to be a girl and I have known each other for 17 years. Over the course of a year, me and her have become very…close. Problem is that she doesn’t want to put out despite us knowing each other all our lives. What words of seduction would you recommend for me to whisper in her ear to get the piece of the pie?
HAIL MORTAL LIGHTHOUSE!
SEVENTEEN OF YOUR AIMLESS EARTHLY “YEARS” AMOUNT ONLY TO THE LENGTH OF TIME IT TAKES FOR THE FESTERING WRETCH-SPAWN OF THE OX-SERPENT TO HEAVE A SINGLE, ANGUISHED, BREATH. PERHAPS IN HER MISGUIDED IGNORANCE YOUR OTHER CLINGS TO VIRGINITY AS THOUGH IT MEANT MORE THAN WHAT IT TRULY IS: A BIT OF DEAD SKIN ACTING ONLY AS FORESHADOWING OF YOUR GRIM, DUSTY, FUTURE. EXPLAIN THE ABOVE TO HER- PERHAPS USING THIS EXACT TERMINOLOGY – AND I AM CERTAIN THAT SOON YOU SHALL BE SERVICED AS YOUR WILL BEHOOVES.
Few bands (some would say none at all) have made as big a contribution to the music scene as Popular Musical Group *NSYNC. With a distinguished song library spanning Everybody (Backstreet’s Back), Like a Rolling Stone and the theme from Murder, She Wrote, the group is nothing short of a heaven-sent treasure to the undeserving mortal realm.
Unfortuantely, this burdens any *NSYNC merchandise with a lot to live up to. Can this tie-in PC game, with its promises of “five funny games”, “EXCLUSVIE! voice and video clips” and the chance to “learn the secrets of the boys”, do justice to the *NSYNC legacy? As a member of the twentysomething male target demographic, I vowed to find out. Continue Reading »
So I left it a little late. So what? It’s not like anyone’s even remotely interested in Street Sharks anyway. Trust me on this. There are literally NO fan sites of any kind about this mediocre 90s kids’ show which was a blatant rip-off of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I know this because of my extensive twenty second search on Google. (Please don’t find me some obscure Street Sharks website to prove me wrong. I really don’t care.)
An exclusive excerpt from the Captain Planet Annual 1993
(Printed on RECYCLED PAPER!)
Generously donated by Mister Bung
So join us, won’t you, as we explore the history and the delightful quirks of everyone’s favouritest burbling, giggling homicidal megalomaniac of a brain with razor sharp teeth that slots neatly into the belly of a gigantic naked robot android.
Honestly, how can ANYONE not like the Classic Ninja Turtles cartoon? Seriously?
When Aussie Ben began his Crap Comic series – nay, confronting sequence of contemporary masterpii – he gazed up at the glow-in-the-dark Glow Zone stars on his bedroom ceiling and said: “Some day, world. Some day, I’m going to make it big”.
And here he is, two years later, producing guest comics for the finest names in the business: Penny Arcade. PVP. VG Cats. Calvin & Hobbes. Garfield. Batman. The list goes on and on. In hindsight, though, he probably should have asked for their permission first.
Dear reader, would you care to Hassle People of Importance with us once again?
Here it is: The Rubber Chicken’s single greatest accomplishment. A small prank that should have died within minutes, but instead became something far more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
You have no idea how painful it’s been to keep something this big hidden for four months. And not just emotionally – it took six experienced surgeons to remove the damn thing. However, I believe the results are well worth the time, effort, crippling medical expenses and the knowledge that I can never professionally dance the tango again.
|John Rhys-Davies in Star Wars: Episode III
A Rubber Chicken Media Hoax
dis aint janet…
and whered ya get me addy
What do you mean? It’s me Hans!
Continue Reading »
Alastair: Remember ? You know, Ben’s quirky, insightful and (hah!) weekly series adding dialogue from old LucasArts adventure games to real-world photos? If not, I know what you’re thinking: what a delightful idea! There is absolutely no chance of this offending anybody!
One man defied those expectations. One man broke the shackles and challenged us. Today we pay tribute to this man – this hero – the only way we know how: with an insane and the not-at-all defamatory Flash animation from Bungholio.
New to ThatChickenSite.com? Take a look at some Rubber Chicken highlights from the decade since.