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The Rubber Chicken – Taxidermists from a Parallel Universe

Lead vocals by Chris Shadforth.
Lyrics and music by Alastair Craig.
Additional shouty bits by Tim Morrison.

As heard in Mr. Podcast’s Neighbourhood
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Lyrics

We are taxidermists
From a parallel universe
All of our creations
Have beards and eyepatches

We stuff dead animals
In a tangential strand of time
Mounting them for display
Under a purple sky

When a stray Spanish bullet killed the great great great great great
Grandmother of Winston Churchill’s mother’s nursemaid
Human history was diverted down a path
More accommodating of our strange specialist trade

Now we harness the power of Tesla Coils
And tools derived from our steam-based technology
To extract the innards of animal corpses
And preseve the beauty of their natural biology

Behold! The five toed velociraptor!
More sprightly and agile than your common-variety velociraptor!
To your left, a collector’s item: Fluffy, the favourite White House poodle in Robert Kennedy’s third term.
Behind you – BEHIND YOU – the pirhana-moose.
The famous European genetic experiment commissioned by the Cyborg Emperor Napoleon.
And down that unlit corridor?
Oh, there lie the relics of the Lizard War.

We don’t talk about that.

Join us brothers, let us rise as one
And spread the good word to our ignorant breathren
And create a better world as we stuff their skin
And preserve their smiles in a perfect lifeless grin

THE LIZARDS!  THE LIZARDS!  THE HORRIBLE LIZARDS!

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